ch. 7 • babies don't sleep

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Lance ended up not changing his flights, (all bark and no bite), so he was home three days later. In that three days I decided not to push my luck and just stayed home with the kids getting Kylah's private session forms in order and just spending time with the kids. I knew Lance was really hoping that I would be close with Aria, so I was trying extra hard to bond with her. Ciara was learning more words and becoming stronger on her feet by the day, and while Lance was gone she learned the word mama. Finally. After being called dada for over four months, she had finally learned how to say it.

On the night before Lance was coming home, there were really bad thunderstorms and I was still awake because I was out of my meds, and waiting for one of the twins to wake up again. And when the door to the girls' room opened, I jumped. But it was just Aria, looking scared out of her mind. She just stood there in the doorway, frozen in fear. I slid off the couch, slowly walking over to her.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" I asked quietly, crouching down in front of her. She didn't reply, just stuck her arms out like she did when she wanted Lance to pick her up. I silently wondered if she would've went to him if he had been here. I picked her up, rocking her back and forth gently like I did when Ciara wouldn't go to sleep. She whimpered into my shoulder as another crack of thunder hit, hugging me tighter. "Do you want to go sleep in your dad's room?" I asked gently, rubbing her back. She slept in there a lot, so I assumed it would make her more comfortable.

"I don't want to be alone!" She cried, shaking her head violently. I was a little taken aback, but I made sure not to show it.

"Okay, okay. Shh. I'll come with you, how about that?" I suggested. She nodded slowly, still bunching up the back of my shirt in her fingers. I got up off the couch, tiptoeing down the hallway as not to wake the twins. The door to Lance's room was closed, so I slowly opened it and stepped in, closing the door behind me. Another crack of thunder, and Aria was crying. Like, full on. I put a finger to my lips, starting to panic.

"Shh, honey, it's okay. You have to be quiet, you don't want to wake your sister or brother." I pleaded. She nodded and buried her face in my neck, sniffling. But it was too late. A cry rang out from the other room, and I knew one of them was awake, and the other one would follow soon after. Good thing Ciara slept like a rock, or I would've had to deal with four crying kids at once. I set Aria down, grabbing her hand.

"Do you want to help me put the twins to bed?" I asked, not bothering to whisper anymore. She nodded, following me back out of the room. When I entered the twins' room, both were screaming their lungs out, a feat that would usually include Lance's help. But tonight, it was just me and a five year old. I picked Shay out of her crib, motioning for Aria to sit in the rocking chair. She did, and I gently sat Shay in her arms, making sure she was holding her correctly.

"Now I want you to just rock her gently, and if she doesn't calm down by the time Jace is calmed, tell me and I'll feed her." I directed. She nodded, and I slowly backed away, nervous about leaving my infant daughter in the arms of my five year old daughter. I picked Jace up, shushing him.

"I know, I know, baby." I crooned, rocking him gently. It would take him awhile to calm down, and I silently hoped there wouldn't be any loud thunder. I desperately needed Aria not to freak out. Finally, Jace was starting to quiet down. After about fifteen minutes of intense screaming, during which I also had to calm down Aria due to the storms, I had Jace falling asleep in my arms. Shay, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. As quickly as I could, I got Jace back into his crib, and Shay out of the room. She would wake him back up again.

"She needs to eat." Aria said matter-of-factly. I couldn't help but laugh, seeing as she was clutched to my leg as she said it. I nodded.

"I know. And then I have to burp her so that she can throw up all over me." I muttered. I was now able to breastfeed (which I was not all that excited about), which was so much easier than when Ciara had used bottles. I grabbed a towel off one of the barstools, sitting down on the couch with Shay. Aria watched in awe as I started feeding her, wincing.

all american | lance tuckerWhere stories live. Discover now