The Beast Within| Taejin ✔️

TWENTY-FOUR

Jin laid in bed and looked at his husband, who had fallen asleep. Everything from earlier kept replaying in his head. While he had enjoyed everything that had taken place, there was something inside of him that slightly made him concerned.

He had been thinking it for a while but was uncertain of how to address it with his husband. It's not that he didn't love the side of his husband he was seeing, but he was a bit puzzled why Taehyung kept that side of him hidden for so long and not only that he had all these toys hidden. Toys he had never seen before.

It made him wonder what else was Taehyung keeping away from him. He knew he had done some wrong by his husband, but Taehyung had a lot more under his sleeve than he could have imagined. He most definitely had a darker side to him as well.

Although he had played it off, it bothered him that his husband had slept with his best friend. He had many chances to sleep with Jungkook, but he never did. Jimin knew parts of his husband that he didn't even know existed until recently, and he had a problem with that.

"Babe, why aren't you sleeping?" Taehyung had been watching Jin shift restlessly on the bed for a while but pretended to be asleep. However, when he saw his husband's hand turned into a fist, he became a bit concerned.

"Nothing, I am not sleepy," Jin said, giving Tae a smile.

Taehyung sat up on the bed and looked at his husband, "Something is wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No, you didn't, I am okay." Jin tried to brush Taehyung off and got out of the bed. He needed the night to think in silence.

Taehyung hopped off the bed and grabbed his robe and wrapped it around himself before following behind his husband. He found Jin sitting on the sofa in their living room with his shirt stretch over his knees as he held them to his chest.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"I am just thinking."

"About?"

"Why did you keep things between you and Jimin away from me?"

Taehyung sat next to Jin, "I was ashamed Jin. What Jimin and I had was nothing, I mean it was something at the time, but it was all sexual. We were in high school and had no business doing that anyway, but he understood me at the time and gave into satisfying my needs."

"Still, I am your husband. Jimin is my best friend, don't you think that's something I should've been told along time ago, we have been married for five years, Tae. five years, not six months!"

"I know Jin, I know, and I am sorry. I should have told you this a long time ago. I didn't want you to look at me differently, and I never wanted you the change the way you see me. It's the main reason why I never showed this side of myself to you. I was afraid you might run from me."

"But if you never showed me this side of you, how can you ever be sure that I have loved the true you? Maybe what I felt for you was the person you pretended to be, the person you wanted me to accept and love, but what about the real you Taehyung? What about that beast that is buried within you?"

Taehyung blinked several times as he heard the words Jin was speaking. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, was Jin serious about what he was saying to him, is he implying that he didn't love him? Taehyung chest tightens; it was as though his worst nightmare was coming through.

"A-are you saying that you don't love me?"

Jin turned to face his husband, "Taehyung, that's not what I am saying. What I am saying is why were you so comfortable with showing this side of you to Jimin, someone you dated for merely a year in high school, but me, your husband who you have been by your side and married to you over five years, you have never shown me this version of you? Are there any more sides of you that Jimin is aware of that I am not?"

Taehyung pulls Jin's hands into his own, "Babe listen, I found out from the time I hit puberty that I had a sexual problem. I enjoyed exercising dominance in the bedroom, not just through sexual acts, but through driving pain to my partner in various ways. Kind of like a sadist. Jimin was the very first person I tried this with, and he was okay with me being that way.

When I met you, and I started dating you, I wanted to introduce you to my lifestyle, but when I found out, you were a virgin and the reason why you were. After hearing what you witness your mother go through, I didn't want to ruin my chances with you. So I suppressed that side of me. That side of me was not worth me losing you.

It was hard and challenging. Even as we got closer, the first time we had sex, I struggled. I thought after we had sex the first time I could ease you into my lifestyle, but I remember us watching a movie, and the guy was choking the girl during sex, and you said if someone did that to you, you would kill them.

If you recall, I asked you hated stuff like that, and you told me it was sickening to you, and you don't know how people find pleasure in such things. I knew from that moment if I tried anything with you, you would end things with me, you made it clear that you were against such things.

To me, you were someone innocent and fragile, someone, which I needed to handle with care at all times. It's not that I didn't want to have sex with you every night, but to avoid you hating me or being hurt, I created rules, not for you, but for me. I was like an addict going through a cleansing.

After three years, I got used to it. I was okay with vanilla sex, and I thought you were too, I expected you to be. Not knowing over time, you were seeing me as dull, and you would be searching for someone else to excite you.

I am the same person you married five years ago, Jin. Every word, every action of mine, has always been genuine towards you. Please don't question your love like this for me too.

I have lived my whole life in fear thinking you would find out you deserve better and leave me someday, please don't turn my biggest fear into a reality." Taehyung was to tears as he poured his heart out to his husband.

Jin felt horrible seeing his husband cry, maybe he was justing being jealous and had been a little too harsh with his words, "Tae, why do you always think I am going to leave you?" Even though he was feeling this way, he would never leave his husband.

He knew Taehyung cared about him, but he couldn't help but feel jealous that someone else knew more about his husband than he did.

*****

A/N: Not much drama will be occurring with them, but I am sure many of you have noticed that Tae has a complex by now. This book isn't going to be very long, either.

I had a glass of wine while doing this update so if anything is off, blame it on that and not me,  I am only the messenger.