The Beast Within| Taejin ✔️

TWENTY-FIVE

"I feel this way because I have always been the one to go the extra mile in our relationship. Throughout the years, we have been together; it's always me carrying the burden. I have questioned many times if you love me or if you settled for me, I can never tell which one it is.

I know I have kept a part of me hidden from you, but I did that because I didn't want to scare you away. I am always worried about us and where our future will bring us, always planning ahead. As your husband, I fear you will get up with ease any day and walk out of my life, leaving all that we have behind without a worry or care.

As your husband I shouldn't feel like that, after being married for so long, I should feel secure with what we have, but that's not how I feel. You have never made me feel that way. Maybe I over love you, I don't know, perhaps me keeping a part of me away from you did this to us, because I was stifling apart of us. I am not sure Jin, but I don't want us moving forward in our marriage like this.

I am sorry for keeping what Jimin and I did a secret, I am sorry for keeping parts of myself hidden from you, I am at fault for these things, but I want you to know that my love for you as your husband is real, it has been since our first year, and it is the same to this day. I think I would lose my mind should you ever leave me, that's how much I love you."

Jin stared at his husband in shock. He didn't know Taehyung felt the way he did. Yes, he would admit that Taehyung has always been the one to go the extra mile in their relationship, and it's not that he didn't try; it's just that Taehyung was good at keeping things in order.

"I know we are meant to put this behind us, but look how easy it was for you to step outside of our marriage, Jin I have never ever done something like this to you. I would have rather sacrifice my sexual urges just to be the perfect guy for you than to go outside of our marriage and have those fantasies fulfilled.

I have considered that maybe I have been too modest as a husband that you are okay with taking advantage of me. Even after you confessed what happened between you and that Nam guy, you still went back to work as though it was okay.

So what if our sex life was boring, so what if we spent the weekends at home and binge watch tv shows, so fucking what?! That does not mean you get to cheat!

Until you start showing me that you love me as much as I love you Jin, I will always feel as though you have one foot in and one out." Taehyung couldn't help but break down in tears, he had held in those feelings for so long. That was one of his biggest problem in life, holding back on things he needed to let go.

He was at fault for not being open with Jin from the very beginning about the things he liked, it was his fault for trying too hard to be the perfect husband.

"Tae, you can't honestly tell me you don't think I love you?" Jin was a mess with tears as well, everything his husband had just uttered had hit him hard.

"I-I am not saying you don't love me. All I am saying is make some effort to show me that you do. Stop making me the only one working hard to keep us going. I want to feel secure too."

"Taehyung, maybe I will spend the rest of my life apologizing for what I did with Namjoon, but I am sorry. I was wrong, and you are right no matter how boring our relationship was, I should have never gone outside of our marriage.

I don't want you feeling like that. I don't love you, or I think that I settled for you. I love you more than I can ever describe with words, but I understand what you are saying, and going forward, I will try to do more to show you just how much I love you.

Our relationship has suffered because of your need to try and be perfect for me. Which is something I do not want you to be, and my need for wanting more and stepping outside of our marriage. I can wholeheartedly promise you that I will never ever again step outside of our marriage. I will start doing more for you as a husband and stop leaving everything up to you to figure it out.

I don't want you hiding anything more from me, and I want us to continue exploring all sides of one another, you are my husband, and the only man I love in this entire world, please don't ever doubt that it breaks my heart to hear you say you don't think I love you as much as you love me."

Jin leaned into his husband and wiped away his tears, he didn't want them to travel down this path ever again, he wanted a new beginning for both of them.

"You are right, and I promise to never keep any more secrets from you. Let's communicate more and share our feelings with each other, I don't ever want us getting back to this stage." Taehyung says as he lifts Jin into his arms and positions him onto his lap.

"Okay," Jin whispered, resting his head on his husband's chest.