•Hazel
From: Baby Daddy🥵
I can hear your laugh, it's ringing through the hallways. I can see your smile, It's what gets me through my hard days. Your words were supposed to get me through my heartache, before my heartbreaks. There's an emptiness that only few ever fill and I somehow missed the meaning of love that is real & it compliments my scars that will never heal...Maybe I didn't deserve you, maybe I just couldn't cure you...They told me that I didn't hurt you. Why do I feel like I turned you? Maybe I don't understand it. Tell me, is this how you planned it? Did you see us so stranded? Maybe I'm too much to manage... If you weren't gonna guide me, why bring me into the light? Must have done something to make you want to run and hide..💔
I covered my mouth, trying not to cry as I read Chris' message. I didn't want to wake Sariyah up as she lay in my lap. It made me emotional because I could just imagine him sitting there looking all sad as he wrote it.
Swallowing my pride, I facetimed him. We been on a rollercoaster ride for months and it's time we make a permanent decision. Are we gonna try to work it out or are we gonna leave each other alone for good..
"You crying too?" I laughed, looking at his red eyes as they popped up on the camera. He nodded and sniffed.
"You okay?" He hesitated before shrugging.
"Talk to me. I wanna actually talk for real because our situation is tiring as fuck at this point."
"Agreed"
"It's like... one minute we're getting along and then.. I don't know, it's just getting old. Hell, it been old."
"I know. I been in therapy, which is why I haven't been really answering the phone like that.. I wasn't ignoring you."
"Really?" I immediately felt bad because I was mad as fuck at him, assuming he was just choosing not to answer or call me back.
"Yeah. I'm trying Hazel. You told me to try and I am. I can't keep saying I need you in my life and then not work towards getting you back in my life. I got so happy when you made that post the other day and then I missed your call again and I just knew you were mad. I felt so damn defeated, like what the fuck are we doing.."
"I know, I feel the same way. Ion know where we went wrong. I thought I could convince myself that I didn't need you and the only communication we would have to have would be about Sariyah but.. I just can't Chris like... I want you in my life and i'm getting fucking frustrated because things won't fall into place like I want them to!"
"Deep breaths, deep breaths." I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself down. You get so worked up and don't even realize it until you're venting.
"Sorry.."
"You good, get all that shit off your chest."
"...I wanna start over Chris. I wanna take things as slow as possible. We still have work to do but i'm at a point where i'm willing to do it with you."
"Hazel don't get my hopes up, you better be serious."
"Yes i'm serious.. You want this, right?"
"Hell yeah I want this. I'm going to therapy for this shit."
"For me?"
"Everything I do is for you. You opened my eyes to this shit. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even know I needed therapy. I wanna get myself right, for you and my kids. That's what I want."
