Jilted Junkies :||: Kenny x Reader || South Park Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"Kenny!!" Karen exclaimed when he walked into the house.

"Hey lil' mystery." He smiled, patting her head as she threw her arms around his waist.

"So. Did you finally figure out who the hell the Silent Crusader is??" She asked with her fists raised in anticipation.

"Uh... about that..." Mysterion scratched the back of his head with a sigh.

"HOW??" Kyle slammed the door completely open, gliding into the room, "How did they get away?! We have super powers!!"

"Hey Kenny, have you been jacking off to my-" His father, Stuart, paused at the sight of Kyle flying around above the couch.

"Yeah! This is bullshit! They're not even that strong!" Tupperware complained, being followed by Super Craig and Wonder Tweek, and Fastpass who waddled into the house. Then Mosquito came in soon after them with his beg wings and creepy nose.

"WAHH!! Carol!! Did we take those shrooms earlier?? I think I'm seein' shit!!" Stuart ran out of the room.

"Well, clearly the Silent Crusader is way stronger than we thought." Toolshed proclaimed as he walked in as well, messing with his drill parts.

"Whoever he is, he's been training to fight for a while." Tupperware nodded.

"I don't know who the hell he is..." Mysterion began, "But... He's just so... confusing. I can't figure out who would ever work with Cartman, and yet be so hesitant to fight. O-or better yet, why he keeps showing mercy... He even saved my little sister!"

"M-maybe he's just a b-bad guy with half-way decent m-morals...?" Tweek questioned hopefully.

"It can't be anyone we know... can it?" Human Kite asked with a hand pressing against the low ceiling.

"It has to be, who else could it be?" Super Craig questioned.

"Uhh... one of the goth kids? That David dude? He- uh- h-he talks to the fat ass sometimes, doesn't he?" Wonder Tweek queried towards his boyfriend. 

"With all of the followers he's gained from playing Minecraft, it could be anybody." Mysterion said.

"I'll bet it's one of the stupid girls, like Wendy or Bebe or something." Super Craig said.

"No way dude, girls can't fight that good. If SC was a girl, we would've kicked her ass a long time ago." Toolshed told him.

"Yeah, plus he has no tits." Mosquito mentioned.

"I bet it's someone we don't know, fellas. Maybe a n-n-n-new kid that we've never seen before." Fastpass said.

"Ugh. But if there was a new kid going to our school, we'd know who he was." Human Kite reminded them. Karen noticed the time, so she grabbed the remote and switched on the living room TV.

"I don't know. Cartman has his fucked up ways... He could've had some online kid run away from home to be his personal ninja warrior or something." Toolshed theorized nervously as he scratched his cheek.

They all went quiet for a moment in thought. Karen stared, curled up in front of their dirty sofa, watching the television screen with wide, emotionless eyes, completely bewitched by the man speaking in sluggish slurs.

"If he is a new kid... where could he be from?" Human Kite asked, dropping his feet to the floor for once of his life. He was staring directly at Mysterion.

"The important question is; what are his intentions?" Mysterion shot back, "Anyone with a strong relationship with Cartman, strong enough that Cartman even had any thoughts of saving his life, and in return SC helping to fight his battles, obviously somebody like this has devious intentions. Just like Cartman."