Jilted Junkies :||: Kenny x Reader || South Park Fanfiction

Season 3 :||: Chapter Thirty-Four

"Yes... Isn't it beautiful, Butters?" Eric grinned at his computer screen. His subscriber count was at 13.8 million, and his views were just as abundant. Butters was feeling weaker by the day. His muscles were going pudgy and flattened. His body was slowly deteriorating, and he knew if he went into battle again, his muscles would tear apart at their seems. 

"One more fight, Butters. One more fight and we'll hit 15 million.  15 million people riding my dick to become president! Did I mention my age identification campaign came through? I'm legally middle aged!" He grinned.

"Ugghh..." Butters groaned at the mention of becoming president. Butters officially had no reason to fight with him. He was no longer rooting against Mysterion, he couldn't care less about him. The Silent Crusader was adopting his identity a little more each day, slowly forgetting who he- well... who she use to be. That being said, getting Y/n to fall in love with him was virtually impossible, and completely out of the question.

Butters couldn't move without aching. He couldn't eat without puking it back up. His muscles and joints were so frail and tender, he could hardly lift and arm to wipe his nose. The illness was only getting worse as the days progressed. He was tired of his figure, and wanted to be a skinny fourteen year old boy again.

"What's wrong with you?? Aren't you happy?? We're getting so close to defeating the Minecraft Destroyers!!" Cartman exclaimed before slapping his distant, very despondent face. Butters didn't reply. He was too miserable to care. Cartman waved a hand in his sick face.

"Butters!!... Butters?" Cartman sighed. He rolled his eyes and began to drag him downstairs. It took a great effort, as the boy must've weighed over three hundred pounds. But with a bit of effort, and the assistance of a skateboard, he managed to topple his massive body down the  basement stairs.

"CRUSADERRR!!!" Cartman called into the giant tunnel that took days of his chained up kid-fans to dig out. There was a clinking sound, and then a long silent pause. Cartman rolled his eyes again.

"SILENT CRUSAAADE-" He screamed when a chain whacked him in the face. The Crusader walked out, swinging the chains around his hands. He gave Cartman an impatient stare.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong with him?" He questioned. The Crusader's chains clinked and jingled as he took a step closer. He crouched down and placed a hand on Butters' white, sticky face. Butters breathed softly as a look of discomfort washed over him. The Crusader stood up and looked at Cartman in the eyes, before saying "death" in sign language.

"Wait... Are you telling me that he's dying??" He questioned. The Crusader nodded with a slight shrug.

"HE CAN'T!!" Cartman suddenly screamed, "He can't die! Not when I'm this close!!" 

The Crusader shrugged again, then held up his chains. Cartman stared at him with confusion invading his features.

"What? The chains?? What do you want??" Cartman questioned. Crusader shook the metal around his wrists, making them chime again. Cartman was still confused, but then it came to him.

"Oh- Oh no! No way!! I'm not going through this with you again!! I'm not taking off the chains, you're locked up for a reason, and I'm not taking them off, especially with Butters down!" The Crusader was starting to look annoyed.

"If you want them off, you'll have to find your own pair of keys! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go ask that creepy scientist how to reverse Butters' illness." He turned on his heal to walk up the stairs. The Crusader had enough. He took in a slow, calm, quiet, deep breath, and then whipped his chains from underneath the fat ass. He tripped forward, but before his chubby face hit the ground, this throat was caught by the metal loops and forced him back in a chain-choke hold.