*Jenzie* Beautiful Disaster

Chapter XII

Chapter 12

Bruises That You Left Behind

Kenzie

I always knew it wasn't right, but I disregarded it like it was nothing. I think I was only lying to myself, when I said it was okay, it didn't matter, I should have seen it when she left. I should have known how bad it got. 

I always said it was because he loved me. I mean that's what happened with my ex, right? My thought always was; That's just what love does to someone, it brings out the worst in you, so I promised, I would never, ever, love again. I constantly felt restrained by him, sometimes literally. I never had any freedom, he wanted me all to himself, he was selfish and manipulative. If I ever had any close friends he got jealous for me not spending enough time with him, he'd manipulate me into thinking I was in the wrong, and make me feel bad that he wasn't what my life revolved around. Like it should be. Catching feelings for anyone was the last mistake I ever made. 

Maybe it is best if I leave this place, I was getting too close to these people, I liked them too much, all the more reason I should leave before getting too attached. 

My stomach was in so many knots. I could hardly breathe or focus on what was going on around me. My body completely crashed as my breathing began to increase speed. The thoughts in my head keep overflowing faster and faster. I just want them to slow down for just a second to catch my breath. But they don't. I found my hands on the door pushing and running outside to the cold evening air. Everything around me begins to spin, I can't focus my eyes on anything. I couldn't stand anymore, my body felt so weak, til I just collapsed, but my fall was broken. A familiar body held me up. 

Isaak?

No, it wasn't Isaak, this was different. It was the same comforting embrace i had received before. It couldn't have been Isaak, the man who caught me from falling was different. His arms were bigger, he felt taller, warm, and that scent, that scent is so familiar. Of course it's him, no one would have been able to calm me down like he did in a few seconds. It was Johnny. 

"Hey, hey, Kenz, it's okay, I'm here." His voice was gentle, I wasn't used to it, hearing someone comfort me instead of getting mad at me. My sobs punched through even harder, like I could trust him, and I think I did, I would never let myself be this vulnerable in front of anyone. "Let's get you home." He mutters under his breath but the words hurt this time, I can't go home, not for a while until I figure out what to do. My body jolted I practically pushed myself out of his arms, but he held on. "No, no, no, Johnny  I can't please don't-" I could hardly even finish my sentence because I just completely broke down. He held my head close to his chest and wrapped his arms around me. "Okay, I'm going to take you to my place."

I don't entirely remember what happened that night, all I know is I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine, an oversized t shirt and covered in blankets. I sat up and across the room was Johnny sleeping almost peacefully sitting up on a small chair. He must have let me take the bed. He slowly began to wake up and when he saw me he threw his body up and sat right next to me on the bed. 

"Hey." He says gently with a tired smile on his face. "Hey, i'm sorry about la-."He interrupted me. "Don't be sorry Kenz, I'm here for you whenever, don't forget that." It was weird, his reaction, it was something I had never received, something I wasn't used to whatsoever. I didn't really know how to react to that, I just smiled. "I'm just glad you were there, thank you." 

"Me too, I was at the gym down the street when I saw Isaak-" I cut him off hoping he didn't know why I was there or if he heard anything. "Isaak didn't tell you anything right, you didn't hear anything from inside."

"Relax, he didn't say anything and I didn't hear anything, if you want to tell me i'll listen, but only if you want." I sighed in relief and shot him a genuine smile reaching across the bed to hug him. 

"Want some coffee?" That sounded incredible. "I should probably wear something, more covering since your brother's here too." He stood up. "Don't worry about it, I took him to school a while before you woke up."

"School? Crap Johnny, we have school, what time is it?" I jumped out of bed and he grabbed my shoulders and looked at me. "Hey, hey, relax, you could use a day off, it's one day, you'll be fine." He was right, I needed a break for a while, it's just one day. 

We headed to the kitchen and he got a fresh brew going. I lifted myself and sat up on the counter admiring him making coffee.

"What do you want to do today?" He handed me a cup and he leaned up against the counter. "Anything at all, something that hopefully ending in me getting drunk or high." We both laughed. "I think I have an Idea." He replied. 

I noticed his face began to tense and become more serious. "What happened yesterday, Kenz?" He looked super worried. "It's fine Johnny, you don't need to worry about me." 

"You can't blame me for worrying, I've never seen you phased about anything, and yesterday... it's like you were completely breaking. I know we haven't known each other for a super long time, but we've gotten close, and it hurt to see you like that. One of the strongest, happiest, prettiest people I know is you, but yesterday, it was hard to see." I could tell he was genuinely  worried about me but I couldn't tell him, It's not that I couldn't trust him, because for some reason I could, I really could, but how would he see me, what if the others found out. 

I wanted to say it so bad, to tell him what's been haunting me for so long, but I just can't, I can't get myself to say it.

I stayed silent for so long. I'm not sure if it was because I was scared of Jase or what he'd do to me if he found out I told someone, or what my friends would think of me, how they would see me when they found out someone with the biggest smile, had so much to hide. So I guess it's my fault the abuse continued, after all, I never did anything to stop it. 

We sat in silence for a while staring into each other's eyes. Til my phone started ringing. 

Unknown Number.

"One sec, I'm gonna take this." He nodded while turning around to fill up his cup.

Phone call

"Hello, Sugar."

"No, no stop this isn't happening how did you- where are you- what is going on?" I couldn't even finish a full sentence. I can't be him, not after all these years. He cannot be back, I can't do it again. Especially with everything going on. I hung up as fast as I could. I wanted to cry but nothing happened. 

It seemed so- normal...

After all, this was my life; I run, he finds me, he gets his revenge, repeat.