My Girl ☹︎ Billie eilish

chapter 21

TW- S*ICIDE + SELF HARM
TW- S*ICIDE + SELF HARM
TW- S*ICIDE + SELF HARM

{ if you have attempted, have known someone who has attempted, or have witnessed anything  having to do with an attempt. I sincerely do not think you should read this chapter. If you wish to continue, I wish you the best}

"okay good"

"one more"

"okay I think we're done!" she announces. I smile at her, walking over to my counter I slip on my robe.

"these are beautiful man, and not just because shot them" she grins. she's an amazing photographer, she doesn't usually do photography with people, but damn she's good.

I look at the photos, they look god. besides the fact that in my head Im silently picking out everything that anyone can possibly see is wrong with me. my thighs are big, you can see my hip dips, and you can see how much weight I've lost in such a short time.

will people talk?

will people notice?

the worst thing is the scar. a constant reminder, a constant thought. my eyes seem to be glued to it, but I feel nothing. It's like I'm immune to feeling anything towards it anymore. its just, there.

"ill edit it out, don't worry em" anise lowly says. I glance over. silently nodding my head.

Anise and I part ways, I thank her for the photoshoot, and maybe slipped a 100 bill in her pocket. I would have payed more, but I know she would have came by and tried to give it back to me.

I would have ignored her.

my phone starts to ring, I walk over, looking at the caller id, I recognize it. its my lawyer. I slide over to the accept button, putting the phone to me ear, I clear my throat and speak.

"hello?" I question.

she sighs. she fucking sighed.

"hello miss Coleman, I've called to inform you that-" she speaks, lowering her voice and cutting off at the end.

I feel like I'm on fire, why is she calling? she told me shed only ever call if it was about the case and something big.

"called to inform me about what?" I ask, the words rushing out my mouth like like lava.

she doesn't speak, its bad. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. its bad.

"The councilor has decided not to take your case to court. I'm so sorry miss Coleman." she lets our, her voice is full of disappointment. she's usually cold, she's the type of lawyer that you'd want. calm, collected, straight forward, honest.

my mouth is unable to move, tears fall down my cheeks, burning my skin like acid rain.

what were you wearing?. he's a police sergeant. are you sure it was him?. do you maybe have him confused with someone else?. only one other woman has come forward with something like this against him miss coleman, she was lying. who was this woman?. maybe you were curious about liking men. are you sure you are a lesbian miss Coleman?. maybe you liked him, and he didn't like you back, so do you admit you might have pinned this against him because he didn't feel the same?. he has an alibi miss Coleman. he can't be in two places at once.

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