¿There really isn't... a reason?

¿4?

I played with my mashed potatoes with my fork, making my own art projects.

"So what's been your favorite part about being home?" Robin asked, and I assumed it was directed towards me. I lifted my head up to make eye contact with him, realizing everyone was basically done with their food.

"My room." I answered quickly, attempting a bite of my food.

"Oh. Well that's good. Nobody was in it while you were gone." Cyborg said with a smile. I smiled faintly back.

"That's good." I whispered.

"Hey uh, if you aren't hungry it's okay. We can save it for tomorrow or something." Cyborg said getting up to wash his plate off.

"Okay." I said quietly. He smiled and took my plate as well.

I hated this. The awkwardness, the silence, every bit of it.

I wished things were like before, but everyone changed in the short time I was gone. Or I'm changing them, and I hope I'm not. I don't want to change them, but I don't want to change either.

But I have. I've tried to change so much since I've been here. But I can't.

My thoughts were broken when someone snapped their fingers near my face.

"Hello?" Beastboy said questionably.

"Yeah?" I said, somewhat annoyed.

"Everyone left. Like you know... went to their rooms." He said.

"Okay?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You were sitting there like a deer in a cars headlights. I was just making sure you knew." He said in a snappy tone.

"Right. Yeah I'm... I'm sorry. I was just thinking." I rubbed my head.

"It's okay. I was just telling you." He returned to his normal tone. He somewhat smiled at me, then continued washing the dishes.

"You're doing dishes?" I asked confusedly.

"It's actually supposed to be your day doing dishes." He said sarcastically and pointed to the calendar. He's right, it was my turn. I got up and walked towards the sink.

"I'm sorry, here I'll do them." I held my hand out for the sponge.

"No. It's okay. I'll do it." He said, not making eye contact which was weird to me.

"Are you sure? I'll do them." I said. He accidentally grazed my arm when he put the dishes on the drying rack and I flinched back.

He looked at my arm, and then made eye contact. He looked at me with a confusion within him. But he shook it off, then didn't ask about it, which I was thankful for.

"Seriously. I'll do them." He smiled at me, before he continued.

"Thank you." I said quietly.

"No problem." He said, putting a bowl on the left side of the sink.

I left the common room, and shut myself in my room.

I'd give anything to go back before any of this. Before any of this sudden change. I want them all to know I'm trying to get better. But I don't know if they see it.

I hope they do.