¿There really isn't... a reason?

¿35?

I was back in the dungeon.

The place that caused me more pain then I thought I could ever feel.

He had just finished his way with me, and there wasn't a single muscle on my body that didn't feel pain.

The area between my legs ached as I tried to sit up.

I leaned against the wall, watching him as he started to put his clothes back on, still leaving me as naked as a baby.

He turned back to look at me.

His cold eyes sank into my soul.

He laughed, and put his shirt on.

"You better get use to this, Raven." He spoke,
Walking back towards me and I prayed that he wouldn't touch me again.

He grabbed my hair and made me look into his eyes.

"After all. Who would want a creepy girl like you?"

My body shot up like a spring, almost hitting the top bunk.

I gasped for breath, finding it harder to catch after each passing moment.

Beastboy shot up when he heard my frantic gasps.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head, and covered my mouth with my hand.

I looked at him, and he held terror in his eyes. The same look he always gave me when I woke up so suddenly like this.

I felt tears form in my eyes, and it felt like an elephant was laying across my chest.

"Raven breathe. It's okay." He whispered softly.

I looked down from his eyes and saw his shirtless chest and his biceps. It reminded me that he was there. That I wasn't in the dream.

He scooted closer to me and he wrapped his arms around me.

I rested my face on his chest, feeling the heat from his body being released on my cheek.

His one hand cradled my head, while the other was around my back. I closed my eyes, trying desperately to find a safe place in my mind.

"I'm here. It's okay Rae." He tried to soothe.

His words made me sob harder, thinking of the things Slade said to me in my Night Terror.

That nobody would want a creepy girl.

I held onto him tight as another sob escaped my lips.

He pulled me into a more firm embrace than before when he noticed I was still struggling to breathe.

I tried to focus on his heart again and it's rapid beat.

It was louder than usual, I guess none of my other panic attacks were this bad.

I opened my eyes, trying anything to get my mind off of what was going on.

The side of my face was on his chest, so from this angle I could see his arm that was around my back.

The one that was holding me so close to him.

I could feel his other hand on my head, holding me to his chest.

I could hear the deep breaths he was taking.

I tried to match my breaths with his.

It worked for the most part.

"Are you okay?" He asked when he noticed I was more calm. He still never brought me out of this warm hug, which made me happier.

I found it more calming than anything.

I nodded, sighing as I realized how much of a fool I made of myself again.

"What's wrong?"

"I just had... another dream. About- about him. He... he was touching me." I whispered, finding it still hard to talk about him.

I would have thought it would be easy, because Beastboy knows everything.

But I still feel so embarrassed talking about the events.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and I pulled away.

He took his hands and wiped my cheeks.

"It's okay. I don't mind, dude." He assured me with a smile.

A smile with his one fang hanging out.

I attempted to smile back, then I sniffled, realizing how awful I felt.

My head was hurting so bad, and my cheeks felt raw.

"Hey, you haven't had as many nightmares lately. You're getting better, Rae." He tried to encourage.

I nodded, he is right, I haven't been waking up as much as usual.

But that still didn't make me feel any better for waking him up every time I had a meltdown.

"I promise I'll make this up to you." I said quietly, stroking my hair out of my face.

"Make what up to me?"

"This. Waking you up all the time."

He smiled a sad smile before leaning forward and giving me a soft kiss.

It lasted about 6 seconds before he pulled away.

"You don't have to make this up to me. You aren't bothering me at all. I promise." He smiled again before kissing my cheek.

"What did I do to deserve you?" I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I don't know. I am pretty awesome." He mockingly flexed his muscles.

I laughed and kissed him.

"Don't get too cocky." I said, a smirk tugging in the corner of my mouth.

I laid back down, and he did too.

Like so many nights before he took me in his arms, rubbing my back until I fell asleep.

Tonight I just focused on his breathing.

I heard it, and it reminded me that he was there.

And nobody could touch me.