¿There really isn't... a reason?

¿20?

Beastboy left his room claiming he was going to take a shower.

That was about 20 minutes ago and I'm just laying on his bed.

His bed was so comfortable, and his pillows were like tiny clouds.

The smell of his cologne was amazing to me and it was calming.

I noticed he had a body sized mirror, and I walked up to it.

I looked at myself, taking it all in.

My hair, my neck, my body...

Looking at my body almost made me sick.

I can't stand it.

The thought of him being on me.

Being inside of me.

Slade told me I was hot while he did the things he did, but, for some reason that brought down my self esteem.

I sighed.

I often wonder if I'm going to ever accept the way I look.

Probably not.

I just can't.

I heard the door open, and Beastboy slowly limped in.

His hair was wet, but it wasn't dripping.

"Hey." He said.

I didn't reply, I just smiled then looked back at the mirror.

He hugged me from behind.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Myself." I told him.

"I think about you all the time too. I think about how beautiful you are." He said kissing the back of my head.

I rolled my eyes.

"I wished you understood how beautiful you are Rae." He looked in my eyes through the mirror.

I thought for a moment, pondering what he said.

I don't understand why I deserved someone like him.

I don't actually.

Not one bit.

My eyes welled up, and a tear slip down my face.

I sniffled, and wiped the tear from my face.

"Why when Slade called me beautiful, I feel disgusting?" I asked really out of no where.

I didn't really mean to ask that, but, things just find their way out.

"Because he was a disgusting person. He did disgusting things to you." He said, motioning us to go to the bed.

Our favorite place.

But, not in a dirty way.

"Does it bother you when I call you beautiful?" He asked.

I shook my head no, wiping another tear that seemed to escape.

No, Beastboy, it didn't.

It actually made me feel a little better about myself.

"You know you can tell me anything. When you are sad, angry or whatever." He told me, squeezing my hand.

"I know." I told him as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"It's just... some days are worse than others. Some days I feel like I can do anything and it doesn't even bother me, but other days, like today, I just can't stop thinking about it. About him." I tried my best to be more open.

"I get that. I feel that way a lot. It's a hard thing to talk about. That's why I don't normally. Every time I tried to talk to someone about it  they would just push me away, because, you know, I was the jokester of the group always. I haven't told anyone about anything but you. You were the first person that didn't push me away. And I appreciate that." He put his arm around my shoulders.

"You are such an amazing person Raven. I don't care what anyo—" he was cut off my someone pounding on his door.

He sighed in annoyance.

"What!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry to trouble you. I will come back another time." Starfire said, sadly.

That's weird, she was never sad.

"Hold on." Beastboy told me and he got up from his bed and grabbed his crutches.

He opened the door to his room.

"Hey Star!" He tried to chase after her.

He shut the door behind me, so I got up and put my ear to the door.

"What's wrong?" I heard him ask.

"I am worried about friend Raven. I have not spoken to her for a few days." She said.

Not going to lie, that actually felt really nice.

Starfire was seriously too sweet for the world.

"Star she's fine. She hugged you remember?"

"Yes I do, but I wish I could do something else to help her. But I do not know how or what." She told him.

Hearing this made my heart skip beats.

The overwhelming feeling of a love radiating off of her made me filled with joy.

"Star, you are such an amazing friend. Raven loves you. I know she does. All you have to do is be her friend, like you are now. She appreciates it."

Why does Beastboy always know the right thing to say?

"Thank you friend Beastboy." She said before walking off.

I sat on the bed, and thought.

I have to talk to her.

More than I do.

I'm going to.

I'm going to make her happy.