¿There really isn't... a reason?

¿16?

We got home, grateful the other Titans weren't home yet.

We went back to his room, and we sat down on his bed.

"I'm tired, and it's not even 3 yet dude." He looked at his cast.

"I mean, you take naps right?" I asked.

"Yeah, and I could really go for one." He said.

Before he laid down, he peeled his shirt off, showing his well defined muscles.

The hood of my cloak was still up, so he couldn't see my blushing cheeks.

He looked at me for a second, then started to slightly panic.

"Shoot I'm sorry dude. I wasn't even thinking." He started to put his shirt back on, but I stopped him.

"This is your room. You do whatever makes you comfortable." I said, assuringly.

"I thought it would bother you, because of... you know." He was referring to the rape that happened to me I believe 6 or 7 months ago.

It warmed my heart, seeing how much he cared.

"It doesn't bother me." I said, smiling.

He smiled back at me.

"If it does, or if I do anything, just tell me." He said, before crawling into the bed.

I took off my cloak and got into the bed after him.

He pulled the covers over him, and then tossed over my share.

I was facing the opposite way of him.

I could feel him scoot closer, and he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

I giggled, and placed my hands over top of his.

He held me as tight to him as possible with my back pressed against his chest.

The warmth between us was all the comfort I needed.

My stomach was also the house of an ever so strong fire.

His hands rubbed my stomach lovingly, almost putting me to sleep until he began to speak.

"Can I ask you something?" He said innocently, his hands still caressing my stomach.

I nodded in response.

"You didn't tell me anything until months after. How did you cope with the nightmares, and feeling that way?" He asked.

I sighed, not really wanting to explain it.

I didn't want him to feel bad for me, but, I knew he would. I knew he already did.

"I'm actually not sure myself. When I woke up with nightmares about him, it would take everything in me to get calmed down. I just tried to ignore it, but, that didn't work. Like the time I had an episode in the kitchen when the glass broke, I tried to ignore it, but it didn't work. So, I didn't really cope I guess. I just stayed alive." I ended.

"Your powers are controlled by emotion, why when you had the panic attacks did it not destroy the place?" He asked.

"Remember when I said Slade wanted to suck my powers from me? He did. For the most part. My powers aren't as strong. Yes, I can heal, but not as well obviously. Meditation has almost become useless, it doesn't help me regain strength. I can still use them, but, not as well as before." When I finished he gave me a tight squeeze.

"I'm sorry Rae." He said, grabbing my hands and squeezing them in his.

"It's okay. It's actually a relief. I can feel things, without, exploding things." I said. Turning around to face him.

When I turned around, his lips were close to mine.

"I bet." He said, still holding my hands under the sheets.

I could feel his breath on my face and it made me want to suck it in.

If I just leaned up a little farther, our lips would touch, but I had a fear.

A fear he doesn't have the fire I do.

He saw the fear in my eyes, and forced himself to scoot back.

But... I wished he hadn't.

I wanted to be closer.

I wanted more.

I didn't want sex, god I didn't want that.

I just wanted more, than what we had before.

I wanted to show him that he set my stomach on fire.

I wanted to show him that I care.

"Why do you care, so much, about what happened to me before? Nobody ever asks, but you do." He said, looking into my soul.

I smiled, and ran my one hand that wasn't clasped with his through his hair.

"I care about you. You're my best friend." I said assuringly.

He smiled, and his eyes held a story.

A story of a kid that shouldn't be as nice as he is.

"Why did you come and ask what happened to me?" I whispered.

"Because I care about you. More than you'll ever know. You're my best friend." He squeezed my hand.

I honestly, in my whole life, had never felt more cared for, more safe, more alive.

The fire in my stomach grew as if someone had poured kerosene on every inch that was burning.

He took his hand and tucked a loose strain of hair behind my ear, smiling the whole time.

He leaned down, and ever so softly, kissed the top of my head.

Was it what I wanted originally? No.

Maybe, that's why it felt like so much more.

That time will come, when I can show him.

When I can show him the fire he lights.

But, for now, that will control my cravings.