Three Simple Words

Chapter 9

The anxiety coursed throughout his body; the blood flowed to his head. The chair creaked against his body as he tried to stop his body from shaking. Thomas knew that whatever happened next couldn't be anything thing good.

While their relationship was far from good, the expression on his father's face was one that he had only ever seen once before and that was at his mom's funeral. The chair groaned against the impact but held fast. The fear drove deeper into Thomas as he waited for his father to break the impenetrable silence, his attempt to stop shaking failing as his heads were quivering in his lap.

"Who was that on the motorcycle?" He saw his father start to speak before he heard him but once he did the fear began to recede.

His father hadn't figured out his secret. Even though he still didn't feel at ease, he knew he could easily convince his father that he didn't feel anything towards the other boy, that he could never feel anything like that. He could keep living the life he had been living. The one where he had friends, family but also the one where he had lie about who he was dating, who he was attracted to, who he loved.

Whatever came out of his mouth next, he knew he could never go back on what he was going to say. If he said there was nothing between them and he was not gay then that would solidify the lie but he would lose himself in the process. Or he could tell his father he was gay and save himself but risk losing everything that he had worked so hard to get.

Regardless of the consequences, Thomas knew that in that moment he had made his choice. Whether or not the next words were going to save or condemn him, he didn't know but he also didn't care.

He could be happy, freely and truly happy after this choice. All he could know was hope that his father wouldn't ask him the question that he had been dreading; he just needed a little time to figure out what to tell his father.

"That was Ariel's brother, Jess." Thomas finally said after a long pause, the pause given his father all the evidence he needed. He father could see the change in Thomas's eyes when he talked about Jess. It was much more than just a look for his "girlfriend's" brother.

The pair started intently at each other, Thomas full of fear and a hint of courage and his father of poorly hidden anger. Before they continued his father took a sip of open whiskey bottle next to him.

"So, how is Ariel?" His father asked, his voice having a strained control tone to it. Regardless of whether Thomas was ready to tell his father the truth, he knew he couldn't hide the breakup from him and he didn't want to either.

"We broke up." He murmured; the entire dynamic of the room changed with those words because the very thing Thomas wasn't saying was the thing that his father had just verified.

His father took the final sip of the whiskey bottle, the effects of the alcohol starting to wash over him with full force.

"The fuck! Why would you do that? She was the only fucking girl to be interested in your sorry ass! You little piece..." He spat at his son, already fully aware of the reason.

"I'm gay" Thomas interrupted; his voice almost not being heard.

"You're what?" His father thundered. The silence that question left was unbearable, it seemed to suck every drop of acceptance out of the room.

"I'm gay" Thomas echoed, the timid boy he was starting to slip away. Three small words was all it took to ruin years of trust and reliance between each other. The other man got up from the chair he had been sitting in, with a little struggle from the alcohol.

"Like hell you are! No son of my mine is going to be a fucking fairy! You're lying! Why the fuck are you lying to me!" He bellowed, standing up to his full height. By that time Thomas was already standing, face to face with the man that had raised him.