Three Simple Words

Chapter 11

The sight of Jess made Thomas's heart pound against his chest, the sound deafening in his ears. As glad as Thomas was that he was there, he couldn't stop the fear that gripped at him. It grabbed a hold of him and refused to relinquish its grip. He had lost everything he had, the last thing he could handle was losing Jess too but after he knew what happened, there was no way they could still be friends.

"Fuck, Thomas, are you okay?" Jess stuttered, taking in the broken boy in front of him. The bruises outlined all of the visible skin and the blood still shown on his lips and cheek.

The minute Thomas saw Jess walking over his body immediately sprung up so the two boys faced one another, Thomas grunting in pain and Jess with fear written across his stricken features. The strong hands grasped around Thomas before he knew what was happening, Jess's head bent into the crook of his shoulder.

It took Thomas a minute before he was able to react. As much pain as the hug caused, he couldn't bring himself to break it so instead he wrapped his arms around the other boy, closing their circle.

The pair eventually broke apart and upon Thomas's insistence, sat on opposite sides of the booth.

Before either of them could start to talk about what had happened, the waitress came over, giving them both a funny look. She couldn't have been older than twenty but everything about her, from her eyes to the way she held herself, made her look as if she had seen a hundred years before she came over to help them.

"What can I get for you?" She asked, the blazing red hair falling over her eyes as she grabbed her pad.

"Coffee please" Thomas muttered; the words lost in the deafening silence within the diner. "I'll have a coffee too please" offered Jess, only moments after Thomas. Hesitantly, the waitress left the pair alone, her footsteps echoing on the tile floor.

"How did you find me?" Thomas blurted, his question lacking any actual vengeance. The emerald eyes that stared back at him crinkled with slight confusion but nevertheless answered the question.

"When you called me, I went to your house." Even though Thomas didn't say anything, Jess could see the way his body curled and hardened into itself. "From what I could gather, I knew that you weren't there but your car was so you couldn't have been able to go far. Then I remembered the diner that we used to go to. I figured it was a long shot but I didn't know what else to do." Jess almost added something but he couldn't bring himself to tell Thomas how scared he had been.

"Thomas, what happened?" The smaller boy asked the determination clear in his voice. Thomas sagged in his seat. He knew that question was coming; there was no way it couldn't. From what he felt he knew that he didn't look to good and on top of that all, it was the middle of the night.

"Can we please not talk about this?" Thomas begged, the desperation soaking his voice. "You know what happened, I told my dad that... and you saw what happened. So please can we just not talk about it today."

And what was Jess supposed to do? There was no way he could try to make Thomas talk and he didn't want to either. Part of it was he couldn't bear to hear what had happened; he couldn't forgive himself if he had pressured Thomas to do this. The other part was he knew he couldn't make Thomas talk if he wasn't ready, he couldn't do that to either of them.

Instead he asked, "Did he kick you out?"

Thomas's chocolate eyes couldn't meet his own and he had answer without Thomas saying anything. From the look on the other boy's face, one full of shame and fear, he also knew he didn't have anywhere to go.

"Come on, my bike's outside." Jess stood, leaving the money on the table and waiting for Thomas to make his leave also.

"I'm fine; you don't need to do this. I'll find somewhere to go, maybe rent a hotel room or something." Jess knew that was a pile of shit, there was no way Thomas had the money to afford a hotel room and he was by far okay.

"Come on" he said again, pushing Thomas forward a little. The other boy flinched from the contact but followed him nevertheless. Jess passed the helmet to Thomas, trying to ignore the many bruises that outlined the other boy's face.

The motorcycle roared to life underneath them, shaking them to the core. This ride, however, was very different then the first ones they shared. There were no free-spirited, spontaneous emotions flying through the air, no Thomas gripping on for dear life.

Instead he was resigned to whatever happened to him and Jess was using all of his concentration to focus on the road in front of him.

In such a short amount of time, Thomas had become very close to him and to see him in this emotion agony was torture for the both of them. The bike hummed as they sped down the deserted road, the street lights barely lighting up the space in front of them.

When they passed Thomas's house, which they inevitably had to, Thomas's grip of Jess tightened ever so slightly, not enough for Jess to notice but nonetheless there. The events of that night came flooding back to him, each screaming to be seen, each with more venom than the last, more malice, more fear. Thomas bit back the tears, forcing the tumult within him to stay there.

There was no way he could ever show this side to Jess, ever tell him what actually happened.

He deserved what his father did to him; he was stupid to ever think his feelings towards guys would ever be okay. He was just another stupid idiot who convinced himself that he isn't going to hell as he was already sitting in the cage, waiting for the door to lock.

He was so close to believing that he could be saved, but his father showed him what he had been to oblivious to see, that there was no escaping the torture to come. How had he been so naïve to believe these lies? Redemption, forgiveness? Those are myths that old men tell themselves to make death seem less scary.

He knew that what his father did would never be justified, but he couldn't fight the feeling that if it didn't happen, he would never know God again.

Thomas didn't know what he believed anymore. Everything he thought he knew was gone and things he learned didn't make any sense to him. They flew by the house in a matter of moments, but just because it was out of sight does not mean it was out of mind.

Regardless, Thomas couldn't keep thinking about this so he let his mind go. He let the wind whip across his face and the darkness envelope him, fading into the melancholy sky behind him.