Three Simple Words

Chapter 29

The lack of confidence surprised Thomas and it showed more vulnerability then Jess had intended but Thomas loved these moments. The moments when Jess would drop his shield enough to let some of his heart show.

Thomas loved them because Jess trusted him enough to let his shield down, subconsciously or otherwise. He loved them because he loved this boy. All of time he tried to ignore it, to prevent did nothing to stop this influx of emotions and for some reason he was okay with it.

Maybe it was because he finally started to accept himself for being gay or maybe it was because nothing could seem wrong when it comes to Jess. The question still lingered in the air,

"Can I... see them?"

Thomas couldn't imagine ever trusting someone enough to show them his scars but he trusted Jess enough. The nurses had left the wraps off to let his wounds breathe so it wasn't hard to show Jess but it took all of his strength to stop the tremble in his hands. The eye contact he was trying so hard to keep broke when Jess asked those words. It was one thing to hear the stories Thomas had but it was another to see his scars.

"I'm...I'm scared that if I show you, you'll look...look at me differently" Thomas stammered. It shouldn't matter if Jess looked at him differently but it did. "Thomas I..." Thinking better of what he was willing to say to the other, he started again.

"I could never look at you differently, you...you are the strongest and most sincere person I have ever met, Thomas...I...um I just wanted to tell you that your scars don't make you weak, they make you strong because you survived, Thomas, you survived." The affection in Jess's voice was not lost on Thomas.

With hesitant movements he lifted his arms from where they had been hidden under the sheets. Thomas knew that Jess would never pressure him to do this and in a strange way, Thomas was ready to show him.

He expected Jess to gasp or show some sign of his surprise but when Thomas held out his arms, he was met with silence. He couldn't say he was surprised that Jess didn't want to talk to him, the sight before him wasn't exactly pretty.

His arms were still red with two long gashes going down either side. They both were stitched up but that didn't do much for the grotesqueness of it all, or at least in Thomas's mind it didn't.

The rest of his arm was filled with paper thin slashes, some old and worn, others fresh and red. Thomas chanced a last at the other boy and for hundredth time that night he was surprised by what he saw.

His face was open with his emotions but the ones Thomas feared were going to be there weren't. His face was filled with worry, concern but mostly understanding, acceptance. Just like before, Jess wasn't disgusted with him, he felt everything that Thomas could only wish he would.

The two's eyes met, Jess's eyes holding a question. Thomas nodded without really knowing what Jess was asking but he would have done anything for the other boy. Jess let his hands rest on the blonde's wrists, tracing the older scars, feeling where Thomas had come from.

"How can you be so calm, they're disgusting." Thomas spat, some part of him still feeling the shame that he felt for so many years before now.

"Thomas?" Jess breathed. Thomas loved the way Jess said his name. It was without pretense, without expectations, it was pure. "Thomas" Jess tried again to get the other boy's attention; little did he know he always had Thomas's attention.

With the pad of his thumb, he brought Thomas's eyes to meet his own, his hand rested on the other's cheek. The boy's faced each other cross-legged, their knees touching along with Jess's hand.

"Thomas, I could never think any part of you is disgusting. Those scars, they map the life you came from, they're a part of you and you are beautiful. Thomas..." Jess shifted to grab both of times hands, their fingers intertwining.

"I...I didn't want to tell you now because I didn't want you to think I was saying it just because of what happened... but... but the truth is... I love you, Thomas Antonio Romano, I have loved you ever since you let me clean your wounds that first night. I'm sorry... I probably" Jess was cut off by soft lips pressing on his own.

His body took over long before his mind could have any chance to catch up and he started to kiss Thomas back.

The two of them together on the hospital bed was a sight to see, Thomas clad in a hospital gown and PJ pants while Jess looked as if he hadn't showered in days but the moment paid no heed to what they were wearing.

It was beautiful and romantic and foolish and everything young love should be. Right now, there was no place for fear or pain in their hearts, there was only room for the other person. The kiss was short in length but deep in meaning. Everything that they didn't know how to say to each other was said, without any words. Jess breathed a sigh onto the other boy once they parted.

Even though their lips weren't together, they made no move to move their heads. Instead they rested their foreheads on each other's. It was well into the night but never of them felt the effects of it yet because all they could think of was each other.

Thomas realized with a start that it was the first time he had been truly happy in a really long time. He had almost forgotten what it was like to feel like this. Sometimes he would get hints of what it could be like when he was with Jess but in this moment, it wasn't fleeting or passive.

It was love, simple as that.