Three Simple Words

Chapter 22

Thomas and Jess both cursed out loud, Jess subconsciously moving in front of Thomas. "Oh, how cute, you have your faggot of a boyfriend to protect you, isn't that right Tommy Boy?" Thomas seemed frozen to the spot, the fear rooting him in place.

"We came to get some of Thomas's things, sir." Jess replied, trying to keep the mood formal yet casual. "Is that all you did now. You are the fairy that turned my boy, into this." Thomas's dad slammed Jess against the wall, his back cracking against the impact. His fist reeled back to punch the other boy, but got stuck half way through. Thomas was grasping his dad's arm, his knuckles changing to a ghostly white.

"Get the hell away from him" Thomas spoke in an eerily calm manner. The words were aggressive but his tone was passive yet unwavering. "The fuck I will." Thomas's dad bit back, yanking against his son's grip. Thomas's eyes contained an icy coldness that Jess had never seen before in him.

"I said get away from him." Thomas shoved his dad back, putting himself between Jess and his dad. "Do what you will to me but never" Thomas shook his head trying to harness the courage he just had "...never touch him or so help me, I will destroy you. I have spent years trying to make you happy, but you know what? I never will. You are a selfish prick that deserves to rot in this hell hole." Thomas turned on his heels, taking Jess with him.

He knew he had to get out of their before he lost the short-lived courage but there was no way in hell he was going to let his dad beat Jess the way he did it to him. The front door slammed shut just as Thomas's and his dad's relationship closed all those weeks ago. The encounter lasted maybe five minutes but Thomas was drained, physically and emotionally.

"Are you okay?" Thomas doted on the seemingly okay Jess. Thomas brought his hands up to the other boy's cheeks, checking for any bruises, but also knowing that he needed to make sure Jess was really there with him.

"I'm fine, are you okay?" Jess returned, the worry lines returning to his otherwise clear face. Instead of answering, Thomas wrapped his arms around Jess, burying his face in the other boy's scent.

He felt the tears swell in his eyes as Jess held him. He hated the feeling of being broken, especially by a man who was supposed to love him unconditionally.

A small part of him hoped that when his father saw him again, he would feel sorry for what he did. Thomas had hoped that that any semblance of the man he used to know would be there.

But out on the driveway, in Jess's arms, that hope withered. It was like a someone kept scraping and scraping away at his happiness until he was only left with a numbing void. Even the void couldn't keep the sorrow out.

Once Thomas let go off Jess, his fingers ached for the razor. Recently, it had gotten to the point where he had been cutting most days and when he didn't have his razor blade, he would dig his nails into his wrists until they left scars. His arms were looking more like road maps then the arms of an eighteen-year old should.

It wasn't like he didn't try to stop cutting, it was just that every time he felt the need to cut, it took over. It was an all-consuming monster that was harboring residence inside Thomas's mind. Everything he did brought the pain closer to the surface, closer to spilling out of Thomas.

"Come on, we should go" Jess whispered. The two boys got into the bike and sped down the foreboding road. Without meaning to, Thomas whimpered against the other boy's back, hoping the sound would be drowned out by the roaring of the bike. Jess heard it, clearly as he heard the pain Thomas had been trying to hide from him.

Almost instinctually, he brought them to the canyon that he had taken Thomas all those times ago. It was hard to believe that it had barely been two weeks since everything started. Jess cut the engine and gestured to Thomas to go to their spot. The boys sat next to each other, a shadow of a space between them.

"I'm sorry" Jess faltered. Thomas humorously laughed beside him, sobering when he saw the dour expression the other boy wore. "What do you have to be sorry for?" Jess's face was one mixed with pensiveness and humility.

"I...I shouldn't have driven you home the night that you came out to my sister. It was my fault. Your dad wouldn't have known if I had been more careful. Fuck, I'm so sorry Thomas." Thomas looked at him with inquisition but took his words to heart. The silence seemed to stretch across the canyon and back before Thomas configurated his response.

"Look at me...Please?" Thomas practically begged, "You have nothing to be sorry for. My dad was... was suspicious and it was only a matter of time before I couldn't hide it anymore. I've... I've struggled so much with... with accepting who I am and I don't think I would have had the courage to come out to my dad if you hadn't driven me home that night. Look, what happened was...horrid and appalling and truthfully it broke me but right now, with you, I feel more accepted then I ever have before. So please don't apologize because you did nothing wrong and I'm... glad you drove me home that night." The tears in Thomas's eyes welled up again and he cursed himself that he couldn't seem to hold his emotions in check.

The other boy seemed to be having the same issue as a tear slipped down his face. Without thinking, Thomas quickly wiped the tear with the pad of his thumb.

"Sorry" he muttered. "You know, I'm still getting the hang of it, but vulnerability isn't a bad thing." Jess mused as Thomas tried to hide his reddening cheeks. The pair talked for hours after, each of their legs hanging off of the side of the ravine, the worries having no place between them.

Chapter 23