Three Simple Words

Chapter 21

The Sunday morning light shown in, covering both boys in a soft morning glow. Their problems seemed so far away as they held each other, neither knowing the other was awake.

The moment seemed so pure that the day's plans never crossed their minds. The past didn't matter, only what they were feeling in that moment. Jess didn't want to break the moment but he knew that he couldn't take advantage of it. He gently awoke the boy next to him seeing the brown eyes that he loved so much.

"Morning, sleepyhead" Thomas grumbled in response. Even though he had been awake, he hadn't really comprehended the fact that they spent the night intertwined.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep" Thomas mumbled, unraveling himself from the other boy. "Don't apologize, it was the best I've slept in a long time." Thomas flushed but didn't disagree. When he made no move to break the silence that had descended over them, Jess hesitantly spoke, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Jess searched Thomas's face for some sign that he wasn't serious about going through with it. Thomas was no were near okay but he was better than when Jess has found him two weeks ago and he was afraid of what would happen after this visit.

Of course, Jess's concern was not unfounded. He noticed the way Thomas's eyes would flick around wildly whenever they were in public, looking for the man that caused him so much pain. He also noticed how tight Thomas clenches his fists when he's not comfortable and the thrashing he does in his sleep. Everything Jess says feels like empty promises, like "It'll get better" or "Hang in there".

In truth, he doesn't know what to say to the broken boy because he can't begin to understand what he's feeling. His parents weren't exactly thrilled when they found out he was gay but they've been relatively supportive ever since.

He understands the feeling of depression more than he would care to admit but it's a different type of sadness that Thomas was feeling. It was one of loss and grief. He didn't realize he had been staring into the other boy's eyes until he felt a light touch on his hand and a gentle voice asking if he was alright. He quickly shook it off and got dressed, his nerves reaching their max. Thomas was relatively calm, his anxiety making an appearance but keeping a safe distance.

"Are you ready" Jess inquired, hesitation hinting at his voice. "Sure" Thomas chuckled slightly, trying to shake the feeling of his impending confrontation. "Hopefully he won't be home and I can just grab my stuff" Thomas added, more to himself than to the raven-haired boy.

After having a quick breakfast and telling Jess's parents that they were going out for the day. The motorcycle roared to life under Jess and Thomas, Thomas again assuming his position with his body pressed into Jess's back, not that he minded.

After last night it was hard for them both to not notice how they felt pressed against each other. As much will power as they both had, there was not enough to block out the feelings that were starting to present themselves with growing ferocity. The sound of the engine humming beneath them and the feeling of the other was enough to calm both of their nerves as they made their way across town, almost at least.

When they pulled into the familiar driveway Jess cut the engine but Thomas made no move to release the grip he had on Jess. His hot breath warmed Jess's neck as they sat in front of the silent house. Either Thomas's father was passed out or wasn't home, either way Thomas prayed that he didn't run into him.

"Thomas, you don't have to do this." Jess reasoned to the boy clinging onto his back. "No... I know, I just need to do this for me." Thomas reasoned. The pair made their way up to the front door, Thomas having grabbed the spare key that was hidden under the rug. "Whatever happens, I have you." Jess promised, his hand gently laying on the shorter boy's shoulder.

He heard the lock click before the door swung open to an unsightly view. There were beer bottles everywhere along with moldy food thrown haphazardly around. On the couch, Thomas's father lay passed out, his body sprawled over the beer stained furniture, barely a shadow of the man he once was. His clothes were in tattered ruins and his face looked like he hadn't shaved since he kicked Thomas out. The sight made Thomas's stomach drop and he felt the ache of guilt nip at him.

"You can't feel guilty about this, Thomas. It wasn't your fault." Jess whispered, almost reading Thomas's mind. Since he knew Thomas, he was able to decipher the look he got when the guilt started to take over. The quietly pasted by the past out man and made it to Thomas's room without any major incidents.

His room was a light pastel blue, with posters and clothes thrown about. There was a lamp and a mirror that were shattered probably from a baseball bat and most of Thomas's possessions were gone. The entire closet was cleaned out with only the clothes on the floor left.

"Fuck" Thomas cursed, his hands behind his head. Jess wrapped his arms around the other boy, trying to protect him from his own father. "He took everything... My mom... all of her stuff is gone" Thomas faltered. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." The room started to spin and his heart raced.

"Thomas, look at me." Jess implored. "Look at me" Finally the blonde turned around meeting the emerald green eyes. "Breathe, we will find her stuff. I just need you to breathe, okay?" Thomas relaxed into the steady gaze, feeling his breathing return to normal. For whatever reason, just having Jess's presence was enough to calm Thomas. The only other person that was able to do that was his mom.

Ash tried his best but it would only work so well. Out of the corner of Jess's eye, he saw a worn book with the words "Novum Testamentum Graece". When he gently opened the front cover, he saw that the book was made out to Thomas's dad.

"What is this?" The raven-haired boy inquired. A small smile appeared on Thomas's face as he crossed the room. "It's a Greek bible. My dad taught me the language when I was younger so I could read the bible in its original form." For a minute, the worry lines disappeared and the light shown across Thomas's face.

"Thank you" Thomas said, sincerity coating the words. Feeling the blue covered book in his hand gave him a certain peace. Regardless of what was happening in his life, he could always turn to the bible for answers. Maybe he was holding onto something that could never give him what he needed, but the book symbolized a different time, before his mom died and when they were all a happy family. Before Thomas realized he was gay, before the bullying started, before it all.

"What the hell are you doing in my house you little fag?" Both boys whipped around to find Thomas's dad standing in the doorway, rage radiating from him.