Three Simple Words

Chapter 36

"My love, are you okay?" Jess murmured against Thomas as they laid wrapped in the sheets of their bed.

"I don't know...I think so." Thomas murmured back, letting the insecurity slip into his voice for the first time in a long time. "I think it was good for me to tell him all of that. There was this weight that was just lifted when I told him, you know?" Jess smiled back at the other boy who not only shared his bed but also his heart. "I think that when I told him off, I was able to really start to accept who I am and it is such a relief." Thomas finished with a breath. He didn't know how true his statement was until he said it out loud.

In some way, the last months of his life had made him realize that it is okay to be gay. He was so afraid of losing the love of his father and God that he couldn't imagine a life where he was openly gay but here he was.

He had been so blinded by that fear that he couldn't comprehend that God loved him regardless of who he loved. God is love so how could it ever be wrong?

"Jess? Can I take you somewhere tomorrow?" Thomas inquired; the hesitance written across his face. "Of course, where do you want to go?" Thomas only nodded in response.

His idea was definitely not as romantic as Jess's but it was something he wanted, needed, to do. He was nervous to let Jess see the side of his life that he was going to show him tomorrow but he was more so excited that he had met someone whom he trusted enough to open himself up to.

The boys drifted off into a peaceful sleep, their bodies intertwined in each other's. Both had dreams filled with love and happiness. Their hearts had no room anymore for nightmares and fears, especially when they were with each other.

The morning light shown in on their sleeping faces, casting them in a soft glow. Thomas stirred against the other boy, his anxiety for the day waking him up. It was nowhere near the anxiety he had felt on other occasions but this was different. He was opening himself up to someone in a way he never did before.

It was more than just vulnerability he was struggling with. It was letting someone else know everything there was to know and showing them every side.

Throughout that all, he was excited. He had always wanted to open up to someone but he never knew who until he met Jess. It was an exhilarating feeling but it still brought a certain amount of insecurity with it.

Feeling the other boy shift against him, Jess woke up to a pair of chocolaty eyes staring back at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, I couldn't sleep." Jess smiled softly back before giving the other boy a gentle kiss.

The pair got dressed in relative silence, one from sleepiness and the other from nerves. It was 9:30 when they finally made their way outside. The rain storm had passed with relative ease as had the events of that day. The only evidence that it was there was the softly plastered rain drops and the happiness in Thomas's eyes.

"Are you going to tell me where I'm going?" Jess asked, with a jesting manner. "No." Thomas replied, a smile on his face.

"Did you want to drive then?" Jess asked, the joking manner out of his voice. "But I don't know how" Thomas retorted, intrigued by whatever Jess had planned. "It's really not that hard, I'll teach you." Jess's voice was filled with complete sincerity. "Okay." Thomas was a little nervous about the decision he had made but with Jess, that feeling of security never left.

They traded places on Jess's motorcycle and the sound of the engine turning filled their ears. He instructed the blonde on what to do, his hands firmly on Thomas's. With a bit of a rocky start, they were soon flying through the streets, Jess's hands moving to Thomas's sides.

It was freeing, having the wind blow and more so having complete control the entire town. The entirety of the trip took about thirty minutes until Thomas cut the engine in front of a small cemetery. Jess had an idea of why they were here but once again, he let Thomas take lead.

"So, um...if it's okay with you, I want you to meet my mother." Hearing him say it out loud was completely different than thinking it. "Of course." The raven-haired boy replied without a second of hesitation.

With Jess in hand, Thomas took the worn path that he had travelled down so many times before. The path was enclosed by two towering bushes, more of a garden then a cemetery. The clearing at the end was where the tombstones started. Thomas never could find the words to describe this place or what it meant to him. He knew that his mother was only here physically but it helped him to have something to hold on to. It was also a place where he didn't have to worry about other than himself and his mother. Thomas stopped just short of a tombstone. It read,

Evaline Grace Romano,

A beloved mother and friend to all

"Hey mom, I brought someone I want you to meet." Thomas's smile was one filled with a sadness but also love. "This is Jess, my boyfriend." Jess didn't know what to say so he opted for nothing but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence.

"I just wanted you know that I'm okay now. I'm sure you know what happened with me and him but it's okay now, Jess is a big part of why it's okay." Thomas didn't so much as spat out the him, it was rather, he didn't know what to call that man. He had been his father, his dad for so long but he lost that title a long time ago. For now, Thomas just called him him. "I love you and I miss you, Mom." Thomas squeezed Jess's hand a little to let him know that it was okay, that he was okay.

They only stayed a little while longer. Thomas had said what he needed to say but it was still nice to feel his mom's presence there. Even though he lost his family, it felt like she was still there with him somehow. Sometimes he was jealous of people who had an entire family waiting at home for them but in moments like these, that jealousy was ebbed by his love for his mom even though she wasn't physically next to him. Jess's family had also found a way into his heart and they started to become his family too.

The ride back was exhilarating and peaceful at the same time. Thomas drove back and he couldn't help being a little distracted by the arms that wrapped around his waist.

Jess was not innocent in this either. The sensible side told him not too but he pushed that side down as he stroked Thomas's chest, and, for that matter, anywhere he could reach. Thomas considered getting Jess to stop, after all, it was affecting his driving just a little, but then again there is no fun in that.

The white paneled house came into view, along with both a bit of sadness that the moment was over but also hope that there would be a lifetime of moments like this in the future. The engine cut off and the morning sounds came back into their ears.

Turning around, Thomas whispered in Jess's ear. "You know, you should be careful what you do. You would be surprised what I can do to you." He sealed the innuendo with a kiss. "Damn, the things you do to me. You are a cruel man, Thomas Romano." Jess grumbled, with a fair amount of teasing in his voice.