Wooden Castle || Jelsa Fanfiction

Chapter 35

Elsa's Point of View

Who knew getting a taste of life can leave a slight bitter-sweet after taste? There's also this burning sensation in the chest where all kinds of emotions bottled up were being kept in: happiness, sadness, pain.

"Elsa." I hear him call out. There it is again, the burning sensation in my chest, only this time, a feeling is heightened: pain. I felt him embrace me; he was slightly shivering, his breath was a bit shakey and I could feel his heart beating loudly.

"I miss you."

And with that my eyes flutter open to see myself alone in my room.

That's when I realized it wasn't him that was shivering, it wasn't him that had a shakey breath, and it wasn't him with a heart beating loudly, it was me.

I gathered the pillows I unknowingly pushed away when I was asleep, dragging them closer to me. Even with two layers of blanket and this pile of pillows, I still felt cold.

I embraced the pillows, trying to trick myself into thinking it was him beside me. I imagined that if it were him he'd embrace me too.

Upon thinking that I felt a temporary warmth that quickly faded when I realized that was a bit of a stretch considering now. I sat up and grabbed the blankets closer to me, wrapping myself more.

"I miss you Jack." I told myself as hugged my legs. "I want to come see you again." I continue talking as if he could hear me.

It's been too long. Far too long, since I last seen or heard from him. It's almost been a year yet he hasn't even wrote me a letter. I would've accepted it knowing that's he's also quite busy, but the fact that Thia writes to me makes me kind of... disappointed.

I'm busy too, but I manage to write to him. Thia is just as busy as he is, still she replies. I'm just grateful Thia also gives me updates regarding him though.

But hearing about him through Thia isn't enough. I don't know why but I guess I just want to hear it from him. I want to see his own hand writings telling me how his day went. Is it really that difficult to write to me?

Thinking about it makes me frustrated.

Has he perhaps lost interest in me? Am I the only one holding on to this now?

I feel myself starting to get teary-eyed. "No. Stop thinking like that Elsa." I told myself. I looked out my window and saw that the sun was yet to rise.

It's too early for work but it's too late to go back to sleep. "I guess I'll write."

Normally I'll write letters to send to Thia and Jack, but over time I've written too many letters that it became more of a diary than a letter to send to anyone so I don't really bother sending those.

"Dear Jack," that how it usually starts. I don't know why but addressing it to him feels natural to me even though there isn't a slightest chance he'd be able to read them. I guess I was just too used to telling stories about how my day went to him that even in letters I feel like he should be the one I'm talking to.

"It was paper works for me again yesterday. It seems that the mounts and mount of paperwork is nowhere near being done. Honestly it's getting kind of tiring but I have to do it since it's my job." I write down whatever pops to my head. "I'm just thankful that most of the paperwork only required reading and not writing, if not my hands and wrist will be sore for days."