Scarred

Chapter 5

Cas' POV
As Eva goes to push the door open, I linger behind awkwardly. I don't want to go in. I know she's gone, I know she can't hurt me anymore, but the memories can. And before now, I was reasonably good at blocking them out. Though it's not much of a surprise why today is so different.

"Cas?" Eva says, turning away from the door. "Is everything alright? You've been acting a little off for a while now."
"Well... you know how we recognised that area earlier? It was the place we first met. And this, well this is-"
"Right... we can go back if you want..."
"No, we should really go in. This is our first mission, we can't go screwing it up."

"But your soul... it's shivering."

I am too, though not enough for it to be noticeable. Suddenly, she takes my hand and stands by my side for a moment, as if she's waiting for something to happen. It doesn't take me long to realise that she's nervous too, we both know no one is going to be inside, but even she's scared to face my past. Unlike hers, mine didn't even have a year or two of joy, it was nonstop pain.

"She's not in there, even if she was, I promise, I wouldn't let her lay a finger on you. But you told me yourself, she's dead, I promise she'll never hurt you again," Eva finally says, taking a step forward. She doesn't let go of me, even when she has to throw herself at the door to be able to open it.

"Woah... it's a mess in here. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, it has been abandoned for around five years now," she says as she walks inside. "Good news though, they didn't leave her corpse here." She laughs slightly but it's obvious she's desperately trying to lighten the mood. Whilst she isn't necessarily successful, the idea that her corpse isn't there gives me enough confidence to follow her inside.

All the memories come flooding back at once. Though Eva suspected the mess was caused by years of abandonment, I know better than that, it seems only the slightest bit messier than I remember.

As I look around, I accidentally knock an old vase to the floor and it shatters almost immediately. Straight away, I'm on the floor, trying to pick up the shards, apologising repeatedly under my breath.

"Cas, what happened?" Eva asks, turning around. "Cas?!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please... please don't punish me I promise I'll clean it all up."
"Cas!"

She drops down to the floor in an attempt to get my attention, but I stay focused on the shards of china that cover the floor. It doesn't take long for me to cut myself on one of the edges, and all it does is cause me more panic.

"Cas..." she whispers, lightly taking my hands. It makes me drop all the shards and I attempt to pick them up again, but she keeps my hands in hers. "It's alright, no one's going to punish you. She's gone..."
"But-"
"You're bleeding! Give me a moment, I packed some bandages."

She finally lets go of my hands though keeps a close eye on me as she searches through the bag. Eventually, she finds the bandages and wraps them around my hands, taking her time to clean the wounds beforehand.

"All done..." she smiles slightly. However, it disappears instantly when a loud yell comes from upstairs. "What was that...?"

"Who's down there?!" The voice yells.

No way. That's impossible.

I watched her die. I watched them kill her. She can't be alive.

"Eva, hide!"
"What?"
"Just listen to me! Hide somewhere, she might kill you if she sees you!"
"She...? You said she was dead."
"She is, she has to be. But, that, that was her voice, no doubt about it. Now hide!"

Before she can react, I push her into a cupboard and slam it shut, part of me wishing there was some sort of lock on it. Just as I move away, the door to one of the bedrooms opens upstairs. Instinctually, I kick the broken vase under the cupboard Eva's hiding him and just pray she doesn't notice it.