greed•y - billie eilish

thirty one

finley

I leave today, I wish I wasn't leaving but I knew I had to I also wished I wasn't leaving on the terms me and Billie were currently in, she hadn't spoken to me since we got home that night I knew she felt bad about it, but I felt worse that we never got to have our special date.

My face was hidden in one of the pillows that was on Finneas's small bed, since he had moved out with Claudia the room had been abandoned with only expensive music equipment that glowed with lights during the night that kept me awake as I started at them.

The clock on the computer read 3:52 am in the morning I couldn't sleep especially without Billie and my stuffy nose and teary eyes weren't helping me any at all and the lone thought of not being able to sleep without her only made me cry more to think I'd have to for weeks once I was back home. 

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand roughly wiping away my tears out of frustration.

My legs climbed out from under the blanket as I sat up feeling a rushing headache pulse through my brain as soon as I stood hearing the floor creak under me, my feet scuffing across the floor until I made it across the hall into Billies room a small night light shining that was the only thing keeping me from bumping into everything in my path.

My lip quivered looking over her as she laid asleep her blanket brought up over her shoulders with her head snuggled into the pillow she looked peaceful and my heart stung not wanting to bother her.

"Billie." I mumbled tapping her shoulders lightly my voice coming out groggy and raspy from practically crying all damn night.

I whimpered out of frustration and sleepiness when she didn't move quickly tapping her a bit rougher causing the bed to slightly shake with her.

She groaned into her pillow once I finally succeeded my glossy eyes staring down at her as she turned her head squinting up at me in confusion "Finley, what are you doing?" She sighed now sitting up slightly to brush her hair out of her face, I couldn't help my needy emotions especially when I was so tired and felt so horrible over what had happened between us earlier.

"I can't sleep and I'm tired." I whimpered her eyes softening in worry over the tears that flooded my cheeks her arms quickly reaching out to bring me into bed.

The palm of her hand found the back of my head her fingers lightly running through my curls as I buried my face into her chest finally at ease "I'm sorry I ruined everything." "I wish I wasn't so sensitive, I-I wish we could've had our date a-and now w-we can't b-because I h-have to go home a-and I-I-I don't want to go home, i-its so lonely and dull a-and I hate it I hate my room and my house I just- i-i.." I tried explaining my whimpers turning into ugly sobs that left me choking on my tears I could barley suck in a breath long enough to let me cry.

"Shh, hey, hey, Finnie baby it's okay, it's okay." "You didn't ruin anything baby I promise, don't blame yourself over stupid shit I did you didn't ruin anything okay?" She told me her voice soft and comforting with my head cuddled into her chest my shoulders shaking as I hiccuped through cries nodding my head quickly.

"You haven't slept and you're tired, you need to go to sleep okay love, just go to sleep." She whispered soothingly running her fingers through my hair the soft rhythm of her heart beat in my ear calming me down in seconds "I love you." She hummed in my ear my eyes now slowly falling shut with each thumping heart beat "I love you too." I mumbled in response cuddling into her as close as I could possibly get until I finally fell into a much needed sleep.

                                               *

I smiled with a giggle when I woke up with my face cuddled up in Billies chest my head using her boobs as soft pillows and honestly it was the most comfortable way to fall asleep and wake up.