The Outsiders (destiel/sabriel version)

Chapter 9- how to let 'em down easy..

((Castiel's POV))

I had to do it. I can do this. God this was so hard! I didn't want to hurt them it's just.. It was dangerous for me to be in a relationship like this. I couldn't do it. It wasn't fair for me..or him.

I walked up to the bleachers where there's a group of girls and that person. That one person and I know..even though I kinda like them.. I can't be with them.

She smiled at me and I give a slight smile back as I climb the few bleachers to get to her. I play with my backpack strap and take a deep breath before looking into her eyes.

"Hey Meg.."

"Hello Clarence." She smiles. God I hate that nickname.

"Hey uh so I need to talk to you?" I formed it more as a question then anything and she gave a confused look.

"What about?" She said in her sweet voice and patted the bench beside her where she swooped the skirt of her dress out of the way.

I sat beside her and looked up at her. "I..well I can't be in a relationship with you." I said and she frowned looking utterly crushed.

"Well why not?" She asked. I looked down trying to come up with a good excuse. Because to be honest, if I was going to be with any girl it'd be Meg. She was sweet and pretty and she cared about me and I didn't have to hide my relationship with her. And the more I thought about being with her the more I wanted to be.

The only problem is that there was Dean. He was such a big problem. Because I really did like him. We had made up and our dates in the woods had been going great. Just going there and talking about random things. We'd laugh and have fun and we'd sometimes cry or Dean would get his anger out by talking to me and kicking stones. But I really really really liked Dean. I still haven't opened up to him and I keep telling him I would.. I don't know. He said he'd wait cause he didn't want to pressure me.

"Well. My parents won't let me date." I said. She scoffed.

"That's ridiculous you're a junior."

"Yeah but you know I'm the baby of the family and my mom is super protective."

Meg nodded slightly and took a breath. "Thought you were dumping me."

Wait isn't that what I was doing?

"Well not in a way." I said carefully. "I like you and everything it's just not going to work out. I'm not going to date because I'm not allowed to but also because I just want to focus on my school work.

She nodded again. "I understand Clarence. We can still hang out though right? Like you know.. As friends?"

I smiled and nodded. "Of course." She smiled and I stood up. "I have to go Meg but I'll see you around."

"Yeah. See you around." She smiled and I walked away. Oh thank The Lord that went well!

I was walking back into the school when Gabe grabbed my wrist and pulled me behind the school. I would've been able to stop him if I weren't taken by such surprise.

"Woah Gabe! What the hell?"

He looked frazzled and frustrated and well..not Gabe.

"Gabe you okay?"

"No! I am not okay!"

He put his hands on my shoulders and shook me slightly. "You have to find out if Sam Winchester is gay!" He whisper yelled.

I blinked. "Excuse me..what?"

"He's been giving me mixed signals and I'm not sure if he wants me to go away or if he's totally into me. It's driving me mad!" He ran his hand through his hair exasperated and took his hands off my shoulders. I fixed my shirt and cleared my throat.

"And you're asking me to find out why?"

"Because you're with Dean. He's Sam's brother right? You gotta find out for me."

I chuckled. "I'm uh..no.."

"Shut up Cas I'm your big bro I know these things now please!"

I laughed quietly. "Okay okay I'll find out for you."

Gabe gave me a big hug and as he was pulling away he was already taking out a cigarette. "Thanks Cassie. I owe you one."

He walked away and I let out a sigh walking back into the school.

--

I walked up to where the road met the woods, I looked around, and walked into them. I had a present for Dean in my bag and I hoped he liked it.

I made my way through the bushes and came out to our spot seeing Dean laying in the grass and looking up at the sky. He had taken a sick day from school today but he wasn't sick so I'm not sure why he stayed home.

I sat beside him and he looked over at me with a bright smile. He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "Hey beautiful."

I chuckled and I think I blushed a little. "Hello Dean."

"How's it going?"

"Well I just walked through the woods to get to you and I have something for you."

He smiled. "Ooh what is it?"

I smirked. "Mm mm not until you tell me why you weren't at school today."

He chuckled and sat up shrugging. "No real reason, I had to catch up on my work at the shop and I thought I'd just take the day off."

I nodded pursing my lips. "I guess that's a good enough answer." I knew Dean supported him and his small little family and I know it's hard on him sometimes. But he won't let me help money wise and he doesn't like to talk about it.

I opened my bag and pulled out a tape handing it to Dean. He took it and looked it over before smiling brightly and looked up at me. "You got me the new led zeppelin album? No way!"

I chuckled glad to give Dean something that he could've never gotten on his own. Well he could if he skipped dinner for a few days.

He hugged me tightly and I laughed hugging him back. "Thank you so much!"

"It's no problem of course." Dean pulled away and looked at it in awe. I smiled softly and I had the sudden urge to caress his cheek so I did. I reached out and held his face in my hand gently. His eyes moved from the tape to my eyes and we held each other's gazes for a while until he leaned forward and kissed me gently and slowly.

I liked the kiss, but then I liked any kiss with Dean. It was slow and loving and he pulled away to breathe and I just smiled at him.

He pulled me into his strong, muscular arms and held me in the soft grass with a slight breeze blowing and I wondered if this is what heaven felt like.

"Dean can I ask you something?"

He nodded. "Shoot."

"Do you know..well do you know what Sam's sexuality is?"

He looked at me strangely and I bit my lip. I hope that was an ok question to ask. Damn you Gabe.

"Actually no.. Why?"

I shrugged. "Well I know this guy that likes him.."

Dean smiled slightly. "Who?"

"Gabe..my brother."

Dean looked shocked, his muscles tensing before he allowed them to relax again. "He's a good guy?"

"Yes."

Dean nodded. "Well let's find out about Sammy shall we?"

"How?" I asked tilting my head to the side slightly.

He stood up putting his new tape in his pocket, taking my hand, kissing it, and helping me up. He smirked. "You'll see."