a/n
this is really, really triggering. i wrote it when i was not in a good place and i was trying to cope with my best friend's suicide. please, please, please do not read if suicidal thoughts and actions are triggering to you. your mental health is worth so much more than a silly oneshot.
maybe this life just isn't meant for tyler.
he'll never understand why bad things happen to him. all. the. time.
he's not a bad person. he tries to be the best person that he can, actually. sure, there's times when he makes mistakes. but he's only human, isn't he? is he not allowed to make mistakes?
tyler wipes a stray tear, opening his bedroom window. the midnight air hits him like a wall, the frost forming icicles in his chest, burning his nose with every inhale. he thinks getting some fresh air will help clear his mind. he's wrong.
the boy peers outside, gaze trailing along the dimly-lit street. street lights cast an ominous yellow glow on the snow-covered road. any previous tire tracks have now been covered in an entirely new blanket of snow. nobody is on the road at this time of night; nobody is outside. no traffic, no humans, no animals. it's so quiet, and tyler is so alone.
he shuts the window as a shiver jolts through him, the boy writhing in his own skin. it locks with a click, and tyler returns to his former spot on his bed. he checks his phone, but he has no new messages. the realization makes his heart sink. nobody cares about him, not even the person he cares about most.
that person is josh, tyler's best friend. they had been texting a little over an hour ago. it went something like this:
tyler: hey are you still awake?
josh: yea i'm pretty tired tho why?
tyler: i'm sad again.
josh: what's wrong?
tyler: i don't know.
josh: again?
tyler: yeah.
tyler: i'm sorry.
josh: don't be sorry it's okay. what's on your mind?
tyler: everything.
josh: like?
tyler: nobody would miss me if i was gone. everybody would forget about me in a few weeks and move on. i'm not that important to anyone. just sucks.
josh: you're my best friend tyler. i would never forget about you and i'd miss you so much. you're the most important person in this world
except tyler knows he didn't mean it. the most important person in the world to josh is debby, his girlfriend of three years. he can't exactly blame josh for spending all of his time with her instead of tyler. it's understandable, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less.
tyler: i don't know.
josh: well i do. i promise. okay?
