I Didn't Mean to Fall in Love (But I Did)

Gerard Likes Batman

Frank's palms are sweating quickly, and he's trying to furiously wipe them off on his pants, but to no avail. Pete is looking at him like he's some sort of entertainment, and he's trying not to laugh.

"What are you staring at?" Frank asks Pete accusatorily.

"What crawled up your ass?"

"Go fuck yourself," Frank replies, "I'm nervous, don't laugh at me. It's been five years since I went on a proper date, Pete. Five and a half actually."

"Oh that's so sad," Pete answers.

"Shut up. I haven't kissed anyone in five years, Pete. Oh fuck, what if I have to kiss him, and I'm awful. What if I'm no good? I have no practice. Oh god, this is not a good idea, I should not have agreed to this."

"Calm yourself. If you don't want to kiss him, don't kiss him, and if he tries to kiss you when you don't want to kiss him back then punch him in the fucking face."

"He has such a pretty face," Frank says wistfully.

"Then kick him in the crotch, I don't care. You'll do fine, Frank. Just act like yourself, and try not to bring up the fact that you're in love with-"

"Shut up!" Frank interrupts him warningly with a hiss, before Gerard hears. Gerard is too busy doing something in the kitchen to notice them talking though, and Frank bounces in his place. He's unable to keep still at the best of times, but right now the nervous energy is pulsing through him like electricity. The feeling is making him worry that he'll electrocute himself if he isn't careful.

"Gerard, tell Frank he's being an idiot, and that he'll do fine," Pete calls.

"Frank, you're being an idiot, and you'll do fine. Good?" Gerard says.

"Ugh, fine. Should I do something with my hair?" Frank asks. Pete rolls his eyes so widely that Frank's worried he might need to be exorcised for a second.

"You're a catch, Frank," Gerard tells him, "just be yourself."

"Why does everyone keep saying that? Who else am I going to be? Did you expect me to go out on a date and act like John Cleese?"

The front door opens then, and Frank expects to see Gerard opening it up for Aaron, but it's just Patrick.

"Someone told me that Frank has a date, and there was no way in hell that I was going to miss this," Patrick says, smiling widely.

"How on earth did you know that?" Frank asks, as Patrick walks over and leans over the back of the couch to grin at him mockingly with Pete.

"I have a phone you know," Patrick says like it's obvious.

"And I have thumbs," Pete says, "I texted him. Told him that he didn't want to miss the show."

"Oh god, you guys had better not ambush him. I want him to think I'm normal, or at least I don't want him to know that my friends are insane on my first date! Seriously, just act normal, okay. If you embarrass me, I will have your head on a pike."

"Well that's nice. Jeez, Frank. We weren't going to show him your baby photos," Pete says.

"No of course not. You can only do that on the third date or after," Patrick chimes in.

"Oh god, we don't even know if I'll get to a third date. Try not to embarrass me please. I will never forgive you," Frank says.

"Don't worry, Frankie. I won't let them humiliate you. I can't say anything about yourself though, Frank. You do have a tendency to be really awkward."

There's a knock at the door and Frank really freezes up now. Gerard glances over at him, and tries not to laugh at how mortified his friend looks. He turns to get the door, and while Gerard's back is turned, Frank runs back into his room.