Solangelo 3

Part 33

WILL

Nico is beside me when I wake. He squeezes my hand gently, letting me know he's there, and that he sees me.
'You okay?' He asks, softly. He knows it's a weighted question. I'm not okay. Clearly I'm not. But he means am I okay, considering everything.
'Yeah.' I say, 'I'm okay.' I sit up tentatively, everything aching. Nico is quick to help me, 'how're you?' I ask. He pauses, looks to the ground. He looks up at me with a thin lipped, forced smile, and nods. His eyes are wide and red. I know that he's been crying.
'I just...' He starts, but he takes a sharp breathe and looks away. He bites his lower lip and shakes his head again. He starts to cry again.
'Nico. Nico.' I say, moving over to him and hugging him tightly, 'I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry.'
'I don't feel like he's gone.' He says, 'I keep forgetting. And then I'll remember and I just...' he shakes his head again, unable to speak.
'I know. I know.' I say, still holding him tight, 'it's so awful. I'm so sorry.'
'I just need to find who did it.' He says, 'I just need to...Gods.'
'What?' I ask.
'I just hate this...This revenge mentality. I thought I was done with it. I just...I know that it won't make me feel better.' He says, 'I tried that with Percy and I tried it with my dad, I've done it before. And I still feels just as shit.'
'You could let someone else do it.' I say, knowing he won't. I stroke his cheek lightly, 'everyone would understand if you sat it out. I would understand.'
'You know I can't.' He says quietly, 'I have to.'
'I know.' I say.
'Percy and Annabeth have started tracking leads for your family.' He says, raising the topic carefully. I know he doesn't want me to panic more than I already am, but it needs to be talked about, 'Annabeth has an idea how to track your sisters...we're working on it. She said it wouldn't take too long.'
'It's already been so long.' I say, closing my eyes and trying not to think of what they're going through, 'I shouldn't have bought them here.'
'You thought it was the safest option for them.' Nico counters.
'And look how wrong I was.' I say, 'my mum was right. They're safer without me.'
'I thought it was your idea to not see them?' Nico asks, perking up, 'was it your mum who decided to move to England?'
I close my eyes and wince a little. I didn't mean to say that.
'It was complicated. It was new for my mum. She'd just had the twins, and she moved for them.' I say.
'She left you.' He says, clearly angry.
'Nico.' I say, 'I don't need this now, okay? Maybe she did leave me. Maybe that was her choice. I don't know. Yes. But she's in trouble now, and so are my sisters. And I don't care what she did then, I need them safe, okay?'
'Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry.' He says, 'sorry.'
'It's okay.' I say, 'now can you bring Annabeth in so I can hear her plan?'