My Book of Poetry

The Way We Were

Authors Note: This might be hard for some of you to get through, so if you don't read this, I totally understand. It was very hard for me to write but I felt like it needed to be put out there. Hopefully this helps anyone facing a situation like this, or helps others understand the true pain of this experience.

Do you ever look at someone and wonder how you came this far with them? Do you ever think of the day the two of you met, started talking, getting to know each other a little more and then what felt like a minute later, here you both are, wondering if going your separate ways would be the best possible solution to the situation you are facing currently. A few simple words, can be the biggest determining factor of your future with this one person, you never thought you would fall in love with. Can you really stay friends after falling head over heels in love with them or will you have to walk away, with all of the those feelings you still have for them and pretend like it never existed? Like the two of you never meant anything to one another. Passing them in the streets like they are a stranger must be the hardest thing to do, after getting to know them so well. But they are more than a stranger, they are a stranger with your secrets, your heart (at one point in time) and everything you chose to say out loud to them, but never dared to speak to anyone else about. All the memories that the two of you shared, made, and hoped to continue making, play over and over like a broken record in your head. The only things you will have that will keep the two of you connected for years after this all goes south, wanting and promising yourself to never forget them, never let these moments die. But reality is, they will. No matter how long you want them to last, they will always have an expiry date.

Suddenly you are brought back to the present as he touches your arm with tears filling his eyes. You can almost hear him speaking the words you never thought you would hear from him. This was the hardest moment you had to face so far in life, and you wanted to disappear so badly in that moment, preventing all the pain and heartbreak you knew was going to follow. You try and stop him, slowly backing away from him, to almost never have to hear the words that you knew were going to break you. But he stops you, not by holding you back, but by breaking down right in front of you, crying and shaking uncontrollably. This was harder for him to experience because he knew he messed up. Not by cheating, or lying, or breaking your heart, but by lack of communication, and lack of effort put into the relationship from his part, because just like you he was guarding his heart from being broken. He loved you more than words could ever express, but loved you with a guarded heart, because he feared this moment would happen right from the beginning. Now the two of you stood face to face, not saying anything but the pain was felt so deep it could cut like a knife, which is exactly how your heart felt in that moment. You knelt down putting your arms around him trying to console him, and then the tears started falling from your own eyes and you realized in that moment how broken in love the two of you really were.