Firemen Jeon and Paramedic Kim | vk✓

Sixteen - Too late to apologize

Jeongguk's breathing tube was removed on the seventh day. His throat was raw and though Taehyung yelled at him to reserve his voice, Jeongguk kept trying to talk to him.

The following week, Jeongguk began physical therapy. The pain had him crying out many times, tears forming in his eyes as his skin was stretched uncomfortably.

When Jeongguk thought he couldn't handle anymore, Taehyung would reach for his hand and hold it until his therapy session was over.  He found himself once again glad that Taehyung's presence is there to encouraged him.

Taehyung had left for lunch one afternoon together with Jimin and Yoongi when his occupational therapist visited. They had wanted him to learn how to clean his burns since he was growing stronger each day. Jeongguk hadn't seen the damage to his body and had been dreading the moment it finally arrived.

He knew he'd have to confront the scars on him and learn to live with them. The therapist guiding him into the bathroom, helped him undress, leaving him in his boxers only. Taking a deep breath, he looked over the mirror and he gasped as he stared at the reflection.

A pale tone of brown colour's clashed with his neutral undertone skin on his neck, chest, arms and upper thighs. The sores left from the fire had faded to pink but were still visible.

What tore him the most was the scars covering his body.  His heart and soul plummeted into the abyss as his eyes slowly scanned the image before him, sobbing loudly before covering his mouth with a marred hand.

Not only did he hurt physically, but the pain that flooded him mentally was too much to bear. "I can't do this!" Jeongguk choked out, staggering to the door.

"Okay, I understand. Let's not rush into it alright." His therapist said softly, "We can try another day whenever you're feeling much better. I will come back. May I make a recommendation, Jeongguk?"

"What is it?"

"Would you be willing to talk to a psychologist?" He asked. "You've suffered a terrible trauma and you're going to need some help dealing with it."

"Can I think about it?" Jeongguk asked, thanking him when he nodded.

Jeongguk was helped back to bed and rolled onto his side, settling comfortably. He knew Taehyung and his friends would be back anytime and he didn't want to deal with him. Suddenly he became lost in the doubts and fears running through his mind.

He was feeling monstrous now, permanently flawed for the rest of his life. While he knew it was a risk from the occupation he had, Jeongguk never thought an injury like this would ever befall him.

Hearing only Taehyung come into the room and drop his backpack on the single couch, Jeongguk burrowed further into the mattress. He felt the nudge against the bed and knew Taehyung was leaning against the rails like he had did so many times in the past few days.

He wanted to reach out and begged Taehyung to comfort him and take away the pain he felt but knew it would never be possible.

"So.. how did the therapy go?" Taehyung asked as his hand clutching Jeongguk's waist.

"You need to go." Jeongguk said. His reaction was instant and his voice shaky from tearing.

"What?" Taehyung asked, "Why?" He was already on his feet before he knows what's happening.

"I don't need you here anymore." Jeongguk responded, closing his eyes as tears filled them again.

"Since when?"

"Since today." He answered, "You're here because of your guilt. I don't need your pity. I'm not a fvcking charity case."

"Who said you were?!" Taehyung asked, growing angry and desperate now.

"It's obvious, Taehyung. You've never been interested in me or what I needed. I'm tired of being used. I don't have the energy for it anymore." He confessed.

"Will you turn around?" Taehyung asked, and marching around the bed to the other side and holding Jeongguk's face, forcing him to look at him. "I'm not here because of guilt. I need to be here. I needed to tell you I'm sorry."

"It's too late to apologize! It's too late..." He said, pushing away Taehyung hands and taking in the agony in Taehyung's eyes.

"Please.. don't say that." Taehyung begged, "When I kissed you, I told you it was a mistake. But, it wasn't! I knew then I needed you."

"Just go."

"Not until I say what's on my heart." Taehyung argued. "Please listen.. You don't know how afraid I was when I heard you were in the backdraft. I went on auto-pilot and just took over. I d- didn't want anyone else helping you.

I hadn't felt like that s- since my grandfather passed away, but this time it was worse. It was someone I cared for so much and I've cried so hard the moment I thought you will be gone from my life forever."

"I can't anymore, Taehyung, please stop." Jeongguk admitted, this time already facing Taehyung when he sit up from the bed.

"You're unpredictable and how do I know you aren't going to change your mind? How do I know that when things get bad, you aren't going to snap on me and tell me how much you don't care for me?!"

"I'm not going to.."  Taehyung stated, "I'm never going to change my mind."

"Go."

"Please... Jeongguk.. " Taehyung pleads again. "I need you and want you. I want you in my life.  I'm so sorry I kept it from you, but let me prove it to you. I can't take back the past, but let me in your future. Please."

"Listen here, Taehyung!" Jeongguk roared, yanking the sheet down so Taehyung could see his imperfect body, "I'm grotesque! I'm disgusting!"

"No, you're not!" Taehyung countered back.

"You're so full of shit! Get out." Jeongguk mumbled as he looked away.

A/N: Apologize by One Republic used to be on #RepeatMode all day in my playlist. It hits me so hard. 😭😳