O B S E S S I O N

OBSESSION ENTRY # 13

OBSESSION ENTRY # 13

" Goddammit Jas!!! open your eyes!!! open your eyes!!! dont you dare die on me because I will never forgive you!! open it!!! breathe!!! breathe for me!!! for me!!! for god sake!! why did you do it!!! wake up!!! wake up and open your eyes!!!" nakapikit ang aking mga mata pero naririnig ko ang tinig na iyon.. punung puno iyon ng pagsusumamo.. pagmamakaawa..

" Jas!!! open your eyes!! keep your heart beating for me!! for your baby!! please... for god sake!!! " I tried to open my eyes pero pakiramdam ko may nakadagan doon.. I tried to lift and move my fingers.. pero manhid.. manhid ang aking pakiramdam.. unti unting nahihirapan akong huminga.. na parang nauubusan ako ng hangin.. am I going to die? am I? Papaano si Lean? papaano ang bab---------------------------------------------------

I felt my heart stop... my breathe hitch.... and then I am totally swallowed by darkness.. so this is the feeling of dying... so this is goodbye.. this is really goodbye...

" N-No!!!! N-No!!! God damn you!!! iligtas niyo siya!!! parang awa niyo na!!! iligtas niyo sila!!!"

" Sir!!! Sir!! stand back!! stand back para magawa namin ang nararapat.. calm down!!! we will do what we can!! just put pressure on her wrist to stop the bleeding."

" Okay CPR.. one.. two..three.. "

one..two..three..

one..two..three...

one..two..three...

" J-Jas.. Jas dont leave me.. please.. dont leave me.. I love you.. I love you.. just please.. live.. live for me... kahit para na lang sa b-baby m-mo.."

I felt a hard knocking sensation on my chest.... paulit ulit na may bumabayo doon.. may mainit na hiningang bumubuga sa aking bibig.. I dont know how many times.. but its there.. marami akong naririnig na tunog.. pero hindi ko maintindihan.. until its stop.. and I heard.. my own heartbeat.. again...

dug..... dug.....dug....

dug..dug...dug....

dug..dug...dug....

" Okay, there's a pulse!! I heard her heart beating!! its slow.. but its fine now prepare everything we need!! and make sure to called Dr. Mendez, para malaman natin ang lagay ng baby!!! move now!!!"

b-baby?

baby?

" Jaaasss!!! Jasss!!!"

I felt someone hold my hand.. mahigpit na mahigpit iyon.. ramdam na ramdam ko ang panginginig noon.. mahigpit na mahigpit na parang sinisigurado niyang totoo ang mga nangyayari.. ibinibigay niya sa akin ang init doon dahil ang lamig lamig ng aking mga kamay.. " J-Jas..." gusto kong sumagot.. umungol pero hindi ko magawa.. may mainit na likidong pumatak sa aking noo.. pababa sa aking ilong.. sa mata.. sa pisngi.. luha.. luha.. mga luha iyon.. iyon ni Lean...

" Sir, Sir kailangan niyo na pong lumabas.. she's stable now.. we will take it from here.. please.. lumabas na po kayo ng Emergency Room.. para magawa na namin ang aming mga trabaho.. we will do the best we can to save her and the baby.. kaya please lang sir.. " I felt his hesitation in my hand.. humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya doon pero dahan dahan iyong lumuwag.. gusto kong magmakaawa na wag niya akong iiwan pero wala akong magawa.. nasa kadiliman pa rin ako... at hindi pa ako nakakaahon pero naririnig at nararamdaman ko ang nangyayari sa paligid..