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| november 19, 5:32pm |
"the white looks better" i nod at the dish nia was holding up while letting out a sigh. "we're almost done, i promise" she chuckles, most likely thinking it was towards her. "it's not that, i'm just so sick today. i threw up twice" i look over at her. her eyes widen and she furrows her eyebrows. "then why did you come? you should be at home" she sighs, looking at me like i was crazy for even being here. "well it's been like off and on.. you know what i mean?" i chuckle, trying my best to explain it as i tuck some hair behind my ears. "it happened yesterday too. i was fine one minute then the next i'm sitting next to the toilet, scared i'm going to throw up again" i add and she winces. "just make a doctors appointment already... you've felt awful lately and it's making me nervous. what if something is seriously wrong with you?"she tells me, sounding completely worried about me. "i don't know... maybe it's the flu?" she suggests, going on about what could possible be wrong.
"no, i've had that before... this isn't like that. my throat doesn't hurt or anything related to the flu symptoms. my body is just being weird it just hurts all over. i don't know how to describe it. i'm just exhausted" i shake my head, confused as to how i should word it. "oh honey" she whispers, her face holding nothing but sympathy. "what?" i furrow my eyebrows. "i think i know exactly what you need" she tells me calmly. "a spa day" i chuckle with a wide smile. "not necessarily" she raises her eyebrows, glancing away from me. she was trying to look at everything but me which made me completely nervous. "then what do i need?" i ask her, starting to become scared for her answer. a sigh leaves her mouth and she finally looks at me. "i think you're pregnant" she winces. my face falls and i immediately shake my head in response. "i'm not pregnant" i laugh, continuing to shake my head. i grab a few of the white dishes from the shelf before placing it in the shopping cart and begin to push it as i walk away.
after a few steps with nia slowly following behind me i stop and my eyes widen. "no" i whisper, realizing how late my period actually is. "no"i say again, turning to nia. "cindy" she whispers, looking up at me. "i really think you are... it explains everything. you're having the same experiences i did in the first few weeks of it..." she explains. this definitely wasn't the news i was wanting to hear. i'd much rather it be the damn spa day. "we should get a few tests to make sure..." she adds, moving in front of me so she could push the shopping cart towards the isle that has all of the pregnancy tests. ____
"what's it say??" nia asks through the other side of the door as i stare blankly down at the two tests sitting on my bathroom counter. it felt like i forgot how to talk... i couldn't form words. shit, i could barely think at this point. i run my hands through my hair and let out a small, shaky sigh at the sight of the small plus sign on both tests. my eyes were now watering and blurring my vision as i look back down at the two sticks sitting in front of me. "cindy?" she knocks on the door. i wipe my eyes and cough some. "um.. positive" i quietly choke out. on the other side of the door, she was completely silent. not even a sound came from her.
