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| monday september 28 9:37 PM |
"that was amazing." cindy laughs as we walk out of the restaurant my dad had chosen for all of us to eat at. "i can't believe you took shots with my dad." i laugh, shaking my head at her. "it was only three" she smiles up at me. her smile was beautiful tonight. i don't know why it was so different from the rest. maybe it was the way the street lights hit her face and showed everything when she smiled. she just seemed so happy. "you had a few glasses of wine too though." i add making her sigh as she puts her hands on her hips. "i'm not the only one who drank a lot." she smirks up at me. i give her a shrug. "touché".
"let's get you home" i tell her. i had drove over to her apartment and we decided on walking the two blocks from there to here together. i'm glad i did it, she probably would have tried to walk home alone or something. i would have stopped her and made her ride with me, but the thought alone just makes me nervous. "you know, i had a lot of fun tonight. the food was amazing.. along with the drinks and your families company." she smiles over at me again, she wasn't lying. everything about it sounded genuine. "it was more fun than i thought it'd be" i answer honestly. at first i wasn't really looking forward to a dinner with cindy and my parents. i imagined the whole time they'd be bothering us about why we aren't dating if we're starting to get close like we used to. it wasn't anything like that... yeah they hinted a few times that they missed us being together but i don't think cindy really caught on. she'd just nod every now and then when they'd say something about it. the hints were very subtle, most likely because they knew how awkward it'd be if we both caught onto what they were saying.
if i'm being honest i wouldn't mind dating her again. i loved every minute of us being together, even if we were just laying down to take a nap... not saying a word to each other. it was still enjoyable. i do miss us. i miss the times we've had together and i think about all the times we could of had together if we never split up after graduation. i could have went to spain with her. just like she wanted me to. i could have met her friends neels and adelia, she talks about them a lot. you can tell she misses them. i could have watched her gain the confidence she has today to be a model... an damn amazing one if anything. we could have gotten an apartment together. that'd be the best thing...living with her. she had me so whipped back then if we didn't get in that big fight, i wouldn't have gone to LA. i would have stayed back in omaha and gotten a place with her. i would have done so much with her. i would have traveled and shopped and sleep in with her as much as she wanted to. she could have gave me more inspiration for songs... even if a lot of our songs are over our break up, i could have wrote more love ones to her. i wrote some when we were dating... more towards the break up though. i wish i did more about it than i did. i just let it happen. i should have fought for us and tried my best to prove to her that i was serious about us and even though i wasn't completely honest the last month, i would do better.
