Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
| tuesday september 29 8:00 AM |
"damn it" i hear jack groan as his alarm wakes both of us up. his voice and his presence next to me made me smile. it was all kind of hard to take in what actually happened last night. we hooked up for the first time in three years and i... me of all people, made the first move. "already?" i ask since it felt like we didn't really sleep that much. we stayed up until at least three to fully catch up on each other's lives. he told me about how he feels when he's on stage, how amazing the rush feels. he told me about his first time ever meeting with the record label company. he told me about his sisters getting married and how happy he was for them and how old his niece abby was starting to get. she's seven now. i told him about how much spain and traveling had taught me and about all the people i got to meet and eventually form amazing friendships with. i told him about neels and adelia and how much i missed them and the stories of how we all met and grew so close. we had an amazing night. it was probably the highlight of my month. we started the beginning of the month not even saying a word to each other and now it looks like we're going to end it being as close as ever.
"that was my alarm to get up johnson" he laughs, rubbing his eyes to help wake him up some. i couldn't help but to stare at him and take in how good he actually looks in the mornings. it feels surreal to be waking up next to him. "maybe i should call him." he sighs, standing up and getting out of bed. he only had his boxers on so his abs were very visible, but there's no complaints from me. i don't mind, not one bit. he grabs his phone and walks out of the bedroom leaving me alone. i don't have to be at work until 10:30 for my first real shoot with this company. i should probably go ahead and put something on until i have to actually get ready.
i slide out of bed and head for my dresser to grab a pair of shorts and a tshirt. while i was changing i could heat jacks muffled laugh while he was on the phone with johnson. his laugh in the mornings sounds more course than his laugh usually does. it's usually soft and warm. it still sounded just as good. i sigh and walk out of my room then head straight for the kitchen area where i saw jack sitting in one of the bar stools near the island. i grab a coffee cup and place it under the dispenser of my keurig, trying to be as quiet as possible while he talks to johnson. "i'll just meet you up there" he sighs as i grab a k cup and put it in the Keurig and press the small cup sized option. i've never been a huge fan of coffee, but today i felt like it was necessary. we were both up late talking and just enjoying eachothers company after we had hooked up... which i still can not believe happened. i don't feel any different.. no feelings have changed so i feel like maybe the things i had told nia that i felt are actually real and not something i'd be through with after a small moment.
"no i just fell asleep at her house, we drank last night at the restaurant so we figured me driving wouldn't be the best idea." he laughs, glancing over at me. i was already looking over at him. he winks at me causing a small smile to appear on my face and me to quickly turn around to hide how red my cheeks probably were. he makes me feel like i'm a teenage girl again when he does stuff like that. i still react the same way i did when we were in high school. all i can do is blush and attempt to hide it, sven though i know he sees it. it's the most obvious thing ever. i hear a small chuckle come from him before he speaks up again. "yeah. grab some clothes for me..." he says like johnson had suggested it. i pull my coffee mug out from under the dispenser and head to my fridge to get the creamer. "i don't care, whatever you think is appropriate for the meeting." jack laughs, he sounded clueless.
he's always been clueless when it comes to what he needs to wear for something big. usually he would just throw something on and go with the flow but last night he told me about todays meeting and how it was serious. he said they had something big coming up in a week and a half and they all had to talk about it and plan every event minute by minute. he never told me what it was, but i didn't want to pry. maybe it's a surprise.
i pour a random amount of creamer in my coffee, not even knowing the right amount for it and shut it before placing it on the counter. "okay, i'll see you there...okay, bye" jack ends the call and looks over at me. "i didn't tell johnson about last night" he tells me. i already knew though.. i was there for most of the conversation. "i didn't know if you even wanted people to know what had happened.. like if you just wanted it to be a one time thing and everyone not know." he elaborate. "we were both dru-" he starts to ramble but i decide you cut him off while he's ahead. if he went any further he'd probably make me over think last night and my feelings that are starting to become more and more apparent towards him.
"we both drank but we weren't drunk enough to not know what was going on and the situation we were in." i raise my eyebrows, mixing the creamer in with my coffee with a spoon. i take my eyes off of my cup and look over at him. "so what do you want to do... i'm kind of confused with everything that's going on.." he laughs a little. he sounded nervous but he didn't show it. he sold the im confident look but not the voice. i sigh and stay quiet for a second, trying to think of what to say. "i didn't not like what happened last night" i answer a little too quickly. everything in me wanted to take back what i had just said. he probably thinks i'm an idiot. "i didn't have a problem with what had happened last night... basically if there wasn't any alcohol involved i feel like i would have made the same decision...." i speak up before he could answer. i avoided eye contact the whole time the words were leaving my mouth, i didn't want to see his reaction. there's no telling what he looks like right now.
"so it wasn't a mistake or like a total bad idea.. it's not something you regret?" he asks one more times for clarification. "i had fun last night." i nod and he smiles. "me too... i actually missed all of that. you know us being as comfortable as we were last night." he refers to us having sex and the long list of conversations we had following it. "i can't lie... i have too.." i tell him quietly. the smile that was once on his face grows wider and he turns his head away for a split second before looking back at me. "sooo... what does all of this mean?" he asks, he started to sound more and more nervous as the words came out.
if i'm being honest i have no idea.. i've never done this before. hooked up with an ex, i mean. this is my first time experiencing this situation. "i don't know." i answer and shake my head immediately when i see his face. the smile was slowly fading. i know i had said exactly the opposite of what i had meant to say. "what i mean is, i'd like to see where things go with this again.. honestly being around you these past few months has made me realize how much i've actually missed you and that maybe i'd like something to happen between us again." i answer, my voice slightly cracked when i admitted how i felt. it felt good to get it off of my chest and to let him know how much i've missed him. i miss all the times we used to share and the memories we had. it's made me realize that i want to make more with him. it's made me realize that i am honestly so genuinely happy when we're together, talking or not... just sitting down in the same room i radiate pure happiness and i miss that feeling. he always gave me a certain adrenaline and confidence and i haven't felt it in a while... us hanging out together and talking again has made it start to show it's self more than it has in a long time.
"i've missed you too." he smiles, looking down at his feet for a second before bringing his eyes back over to me. "and im more than okay with seeing where things go between us." he adds causing warmth to rush through out my body. i feel nothing but joy right now. it feels amazing. "i think maybe we should keep this between us right now... until we know what's exactly going on. only if that's okay with you though..." jack adds and i nod. "no, i totally agree. we should keep things between us so that no one really interferes." i agree and he smiles. "perfect... so what now?" he smiles. "you go take a shower and get ready for your meeting. i'll make us breakfast" i tell him matter of factly, trying to hide how excited i was about what had just happened. "there's extra tooth brushes under my sink. you could use one and leave it here for next time." i tell him and he nods. "if you're still down for a next time... you know, you staying the night or something." i explain causing a small laugh to leave his mouth. "i'm more than down for that." he nods, walking out of the kitchen and towards my room. i show off a big smile as i turn around.
no day beats this day. this day is by far one of my favorites.
