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| sunday august 17 4:03 PM |
"where's cindy?" johnson asks as nia, sam and sophia walk into my house. it feels like it's been forever since we've been in our own house. tour was crazy and crammed so we barely had the chance to stop by home the past year. i'm just glad to finally be back and i'm my own house rather than in some hotel room or our tour bus. "she's looking for an apartment?" sam asks, looking over at nia like he was making sure he had gotten it right. she nods and smiles at him proudly. "an apartment?" i blurt our quickly with out thinking about it. maybe she's getting one for the next time she's down so she won't be staying with her mom and adam while she's here...then again that wouldn't make sense and would be a waste of money since there's a ton of hotels here in omaha. "yeah, she's moving back. didn't you hear?" nia exclaims, getting excited over the subject. i softly bite down on the inside of my cheeks since i hadn't. it would have been nice to know. you'd think nia, sam or even nate would have told me by now considering she's been down for over a week.
it's already awkward enough between us, i can't imagine how much more awkward it's going to get now that she's moving back down and we'll have to start seeing each other more. i'm glad the whole group is back together, but i just hate the feeling i get when i'm around her now. it's not the same as it was back in high school. it's not full of good times, spending time together and loving her... it feels more like regret for how i did her, hating that she broke up with me and angry that nates trying to get with her now. on top of that there's just complete awkwardness from how long it been since we've talked to each other, if she had maybe replied to my calls or texts that i sent out to check in on her it most likely wouldn't be as awkward as it is now.
i look past sam and out the window, furrowing my eyebrows, with nate being part of my previous thoughts it made me realize he wasn't even here. "no i didn't... where's nate?" i ask, changing the subject a little too quickly. maybe i shouldn't have asked. he's probably off with cindy looking for an apartment. something we never actually got to go through with completely. sometimes i wish i did. i wonder what it would be like now and how different everything would be if i had just stayed.everything in me wanted to, i remember that... but leaving was the best thing that had ever happened to me. i got rewarded with something that had been my dream since junior year. i couldn't be more happy it came true either. my mind wanders back to cindy and nate... how much he was all over her at dinner the other night. i still can't shake the feeling that something is going on between them. maybe if i had just stayed or talked to her about LA instead of leaving... they wouldn't be off together or all over each other every damn tile i see them. it's taking everything to refrain myself from asking, it's not my place to. we're not dating anymore... and we haven't in about three years.. she deserves someone new and better that makes her happy and if that person is nate then i guess i'll just have to deal with it and respect their relationship with out letting my curiosity get in the way... no matter how much i don't like the idea of it.
"it's nate... there's no telling where he is" sammy says, shaking his head as he lets out a laugh. relief comes over me and makes me realize i was over thinking it for nothing. he's never been more right, there's nothing or no one in the world that could tell you where he is when he's gone. "sam you never listen" nia laughs. "he's helping cindy with her apartment hunting" she corrects him and myself.
unless you're nia.
then again, who am i to be surprised by that. nia knows or finds out any and everything. it doesn't matter who it's on... she'll find out.
"oh" is all i say before nodding my head at her words. of course he's off with her. it makes complete sense. there i was thinking for a split second that maybe he wasn't. i hate the feeling the two of them being off together gives me. i've never really felt it before... well until it came to her. i've never been jealous of someone up until i met cindy. first it's latrelle and now it's nate... one of my best friends. the feeling of guilt takes over. i shouldn't be even thinking how i am with him being my best friend. i should be happy that he's got a good girl. i should be happy that she's got someone who now that i think of it... completely makes sense for her to be with. i remember always thinking how close they could be if they got to know each other. they're exactly alike. after mine and cindys first fight i noticed nate and her getting closer as friends but it wasn't much. i guess all they needed was some time apart to realize they wanted each other.
"so.. i think it's my turn to hold baby sophia."johnson smiles, walking towards sam who was holding her in his arms. "yes" nia speaks up before sam could. "if you do anything to harm my child or happen to put her in that situation... so help me God." nia tells him, raising her eyebrows at him. everyone laughs while she stays as serious as she was before. "i'm not joking."
"she's not joking" sam admits, shaking his head like it's happened before. i let out a laugh i was holding back and look over at johnson who's whole attitude and perspective on the subject had most likely changed after her threat. he clears his ghroat some and nods. "understandable"
hi guys I NEED YOUR OPINIONS!!
should i attempt to write smut in this book? idk if some of y'all like that but a lot of you guys wanted me to in my last book so... yes or no??
thank u all for the votes and comments, keep it up! we're already at 1K reads in barely a week!
