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| tuesday august 13 8:50 PM |
the sound of fans cheering as we made our way through the VIP line for their concert was already enough to give you a massive headache. by the end of the night i know i'll be dying. "i'm excited to finally hear them live." nia smiles as she looks up at me. "i'm sure it will sound great" i tell her, there's no doubt that they don't since they've made it this far with this many fans. when they said it was a fundraiser concert i hadn't imagined this many people being here. i had imagined it only being people from our town. that's good for them though, they have more than enough people for the support and that's going to be plenty of money to give back to the community. i love that they are doing that and not forgetting about where they came from.
"we're next" she cheers, grabbing onto the side of my arm to pull me forward. nate steps up when it's our turn and tells the man we're on the list. "names?" the bouncer asks lifting one eyebrow as he looks over all of us... waiting for someone to answer. "nate maloley, sam wilkinson, nia anderson and cindy kimberly." nate tells him. he looks down at the clip board in his hand. "i see a nate, sam, and nia... but not a cindy." he shakes his head, opening up the rope to let them through. "no you see i got off the phone with Jack Johnson last night and told him to add her to the list, she should be on there." nate speaks up, furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head as he told the bouncer what had happened. "i can't do anything about that until i get specific orders. i can radio one of them down but if she's not able to get through she'll have to pay for general admission or leave." he explains to nate making me feel bad about even coming. if i had known that it'd be trouble i wouldn't have come, i would have stayed back with sophia.
obviously if jack or jj wanted me to be here, i would be on the list. i seriously doubt they even want to see me. i haven't heard from or talked to any of the two in at least three years. i did get occasional texts or calls from jack when i first started traveling but i never returned them. the break up was already hard enough on us, i didn't want to make it worse or feel like there was hope when in reality there wasn't. i went to spain and fell in love with it and he went to LA where he started his career. i wasn't going to go back for a while, he would have hated the idea. it was best to just let it be, so that's what i tried my best to do.
"then call them down please." sam tells him. he sighs and puts his face next to the walkie talkie on his shoulder. "we've got a problem with one of your VIP guests. can you come check it out?" he says bluntly as he presses the button. with in a few seconds i hear johnsons voice on the other side. "yeah, one of us will be down there in a second." he says taking me off guard. his voice was way deeper from last time we ever talked. "you three can go, but i'm sorry you have to stay back" he says giving me a side eye. i let out a sigh and watch as they look back at me. "i'll stay back with her" nate says to nia and sam. they give me a sympathetic look and i shake my head. "no you all go up there, save me a spot for if i get in. if not then i'll just go to your moms and help with sophia." i explain causing them to sigh. "you sure?" he asks looking over at me with an unsure look and i nod. "positive, now go." i smile, softly pushing them through the rope since the bouncer looked as if he was getting more and more impatient by the second just by holding it open. "okay text us if you need anything." nia tells me as they all walk away.
we wait a few more minutes until i hear a voice that made my heart actually drop. "what's up?" jack asks the bouncer, you could hear the concern in his voice. "this lady isn't on the list. they claimed they called last night to get her on, there's no information about it on my clipboard." he explains, i would love to turn around but i couldn't i was frozen with my back against both of them. "who?" jack asks, sounding confused. "a cindy campbell..?" the bouncer tells him as i turn around. "kimberly" we both correct politely. the sound of his voice made my heart beat speed up some. it's been so long since i've heard it. i remember when it used to be one of my favorite things. well i remember when everything about him was on the list of my favorite things. i don't look at him, i don't want to know what he looks like now. i can't even imagine how great he looks now if he was more than good looking three years ago.
"is she good to go or do i need to send her to the general admission?" he asks jack causing him to stay quiet. "uh" i head jack stutter quietly as i feel his stare on me. i still refuse to look at him so i continue to stare at the bouncer. the tension was starting to grow awkward from how long it felt like it was taking him to reply. "yeah, um just go ahead and let her come through." jack tells him after a few seconds of silence. all the concern that was once in jacks voice was gone. he sounded completely hesitant on the idea. i watch as he opens the rope and nods at me to tell me it's clear for me to go through.
"thanks" i say awkwardly, finally looking up at jack. he had the smallest amount of facial hair which made him look older. not a bad one but a good and healthy older, like he's been doing good instead of going through absolute shit the past three years. not that i'm saying us breaking up did that, i'm saying if anything had put him through it. he seems as if he's been living the life from how good he looks. he was wearing black jeans and a yellow t shirt with the word beg printed in bold white letters. "yeah" he nods dryly, making me feel bad about even being here. he starts to walk forward and i begin to follow him after a second so i wasn't too close. he seems like he wants his space, well from me at least. i don't blame him though.
"they're right through that door." he tells me, pointing over at the door to our right after about a minute of me following him. "thanks again" i tell him, trying to sound less awkward about it. "and congratulations on everything you've got going for you." i tell him, looking around the area we were in. i didn't want to look at him, i was scared to see his reaction. he's probably rolling his eyes at me for trying to be sincere or maybe even trying to hold back his laughter, thinking my words were just a joke. "thanks, um anyways.. they're probably waiting on you." he tells me, pointing at the same door again. he definitely wants me to leave him alone. i laugh a little to my self due to the fact that i thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad seeing each other and becoming friends again after three years. "probably." i nod, opening the door and going in. when i turn back around to shut the door, jack was still standing there. he was staring at me with a blank face. his expression was unreadable. we make a small, short eye contact. the eye contact made me feel something. something i haven't felt in a while... well at least not this strong.
guilt.
nothing but complete guilt filled the eye contact we shared. i shake my head some to make my self look away and shut the door. "the party has arrived" sam cheers making me laugh some and fall out of the mini trance i was just in. "excuse me. i've been here.. the whole time." nia argues with a smile. "she was the more bad ass one. like the trouble maker. she wasn't on the list and still got in." sam elaborates as i take a seat between nia and the edge of the sofa. "i gave birth to your child. who's bad ass now?" she presses making him wince. "i meant nia not cindy" he smiles, turning to me and whisper yelling i so meant cindy. it earned a laugh from me and a gasp from nia. "hey!"
so here's the third chapter. jack is going to gradually get in the book more! so don't worry. i don't want to rush anything lol
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