So Many Things I Want To Say

Chapter 12

 Steph brought me into the room. Many doctors yelled at her. She took my hand tight; I see Hardin laying so still, how could his heart stop? I hear the heart monitor flatline. I tried to run over to him, but this tall man puts his hand in front of me. I look up at the man, his face is firm, his facial hair is unshaven and messy. "You shouldn't be in here." He grips my arm tight, "This is an area for doctors only." He starts to push me away.

"What happened?" Steph interrupts to distract them.

"We finished the scan, and something happened to his heart, it started to race, his body started to shake then it just stopped." Another doctor says, I push my way through, but the doctor's grip gets tighter.

"Vance let her go!" He looks at Steph with anger. He steps away from me. I flung myself at him, I wrap my arms around him. Doctors are trying to restart his heart.

"Clear!" The man yells and pushes me out of the way. As the man pushes me off Hardin my heart breaks thinking this may be it. At this moment he could die.

"Hardin!" My face is covered with tears I can't control my body. "Hardin!" I'm shaking just wanting and waiting for his eyes to just open and look at me, I fall to my knees.

The grass felt wet as I laid down, we went to our favorite place near the lake. I am lying in the grass looking up at the stars. "Why, did you ask me to meet you here?" He lies next to me.

"The stars, what else?" I can feel his eyes on me. The wind blew I could hear the trees swaying along with the sounds of the forest. 

"You asked me to meet you hear at midnight for what? The Stars?" The grass was tickling my fingers. His hand moves closer. I feel his fingers on mine.

"I want to spend our last night together under the stars, at our favorite place." He sits up. I know what he is going to say. Say that I should go with him. We have been through this a thousand times. He knows full well what I will say in return.

"Tess?" he brings his knees to his chest and leans over onto his arms. "Why won't you come with me? I know you say you're not ready... but I know there is another reason." He hasn't looked at me, I don't have the heart to tell him the truth. "Tessa, I need to know why." (I love you Hardin and going to this school with you will just make things more complicated. I don't want to ruin what we already have.)

"Hardin, it just isn't my time, I can't go. You live out your college life without me. It isn't for me." I look back at the stars. "Let's wait for the sun to come up." He doesn't lie back down with me as I had hoped. Soon the sun starts to come up and he looks into my eyes.

"I love you, Tessa."

The man yells "CLEAR" one more time and for just a moment his eyes open. At that moment I couldn't speak, couldn't move. My own heart stopped at his sight, my breathing slowed down, at this moment time stopped. It got so quiet we were the only two people in the room, My body moved closer to him I didn't even feel my feet move I took his hand I looked into his eyes more tears more smiles.

"Tessa?" He spoke my name, my smile soon disappeared when his eyes closed. But his heart kept beating normal. I wanted to shake him to see his eyes one more time, I went to touch him but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. Steph took me close.

"He isn't awake Tessa, sometimes they move or speak but he is not conscious yet." I refuse to believe her. I stand by his side until they set his wires up, and we roll him back into his room. I follow along holding his hand. His body is still limb, but I know now that Hardin will wake up.

I hear doctors talking in the back, but I can't make out what they were saying, I ignore it and put my attention back on Hardin.

We enter the room; Trish and my mother are sitting in the room. Trish is biting her nails. The doctors set him up and leave. "His heart stopped for a short while. But..." I paused. "He opened his eyes long enough to say my name." Trish fell to her knees I run to her. I hold her close her eyes become with happy tears.