So Many Things I Want To Say

Chapter 15

Hardin:

"Tessa, the water is so warm." I dunk my head under the water, as I lift my head she is sitting on the end of the dock. I swim over to her. "Tessa, get into the water. You are the one who wanted to do this," She laughs.

"Fine," She smirks. "I honestly just wanted an excuse to wear your shirt." She laughs, her laugh is magical I want to be the one who makes her laugh forever.

"I think you should come in." This is going to be my heaven, and I pray that it stays that way. "Tessa just jump in." She gets a running start and jumps in. Watching her lift from the water was pure life itself.

"Why are you looking at me?" Her hair is completely slicked back away from her face, the sun is hitting it just right.

"Nothing, you are just so beautiful." She splashes me, we enjoy ourselves for a long while I don't even know if time exists here. But I don't want it to end.

We reach the dock we are dry as soon as we pull ourselves out of the water. She hands me my shirt.

"No, keep it on please." She looks at me questionably, she tilts her head to the side. "I just want to see you wear my shirt. I don't mind being shirtless." I smile and take her hand.

The drive back to my house seemed like seconds like we didn't even drive, I guess being in an alternate universe, things are a little different.

"Hardin?" We end up in my bedroom. She has her head on my lap looking up at me.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you with me?" She sounds different.

"What do you mean?"

"You shouldn't be here with me." She sits up. "I know you're not supposed to be here with me, you are supposed to be with her." Does she mean Molly? Like she is reading my mind she says.

"And I don't mean Molly, this all doesn't seem real like I'm not real we aren't."

"We are please just let all of this happen I can't have you taken away from me."

"Hardin, I want this to be our forever believe me, but it doesn't feel right." I knew this was all too good to be true.

"Tessa, just kiss me please." She comes closer to me holding my face in her hands pulling me close. "Tessa please." She straddles me slowly moves in kissing my lips softly, my hands grab her hips I pull my shirt off her.

"Hardin." She gives me that look as she says my name, her head is tilted, her eyebrows are lifted, and her lips pressed in a hard line. So beautiful.

"Tessa." I copy her. "Just give me this, let us have this moment." She smiles she knows this is not real... I know it isn't real, but I am going to make the most of it. I put my hand on the back of her head pulling her into an intense kiss, our mouths are perfectly matched. I feel her move her body slowly on mine, grinding hard as our kiss becomes more intense.

Our bodies are hot and sweaty, her naked chest is leaning on mine. Our sweat is making us stick together. It feels real I want her to look at me. Her head is laying in my neck. I feel her breathing, her hot breath on my neck feels nice.

"Tessa?" She doesn't move. I rub her hot back, my hand glides so perfectly down her soft skin. "Tessa?" I try to move her but nothing. I move her off of me not to wake her. I lay her down I walk into the bathroom.

"Hardin?" I turn to see my father. "It's time to go."

"What?" I pause to process what he just said. "I can't stay?"

"No, you are still alive Hardin you have a chance if you stay here you won't have a fighting chance your mind will be stuck. " I think about his words.

"Do I know if I will make it or is it a fifty, fifty?" He looks at me puzzled.

"Fifty-Fifty." He looks at me. "Go say your goodbye to her." I walk towards her.

"She knew dad, she knew that all of this wasn't real. I just wish it was, I wish it all was her... Me." I turn to my father. "Let's go." I couldn't say goodbye... It was going to hurt too much.

"Why didn't you say goodbye?" My father askes me.

"I know I will see her again..." I don't believe my own words.

Tessa:

I walk out of the bathroom drenched in cold water. Some days I feel fine then there are just days I don't want to be awake to find out what happens next.

"Are you alright?" Trish asks me, I know she means well. I sit next to Hardin.

"Will I ever be okay?" I take his hand in mine pulling it into my face for comfort.

"Hey, Trish how is Hardin?" Karen walks into the room, I stand and run into hug her. "Hey, Tessa sweetie are you alright?" I start to cry without wanting to. Landon pops in behind her after I am finished with her hug I move to Landon. His touch makes my pain go away.

"Hey, sweetie," Trish says pulling Karen into a kiss. "He..." the words can't leave her mouth. Karen hugs Trish for a long while. Landon takes me out for coffee.

"So, tell me everything." He smiles taking a sip of his coffee. "We haven't seen each other since you left for Washington." He started to let his hair grow out his dark skin was such a perfect shade for his dark eyes.

"I met someone." His face glows at his own words, "Her name is Dakota."

"That is such a pretty name, what is she like?" His face lights up as I ask about her.

"I have only known her for a few months... I haven't asked her out yet."

"What are you waiting for?" He smiles sipping his coffee.

"She has a boyfriend." I glare at him; he takes another sip. "I met her at an event at a museum." I don't know what to say about this. "Any way you, how are you? Sorry I shouldn't have asked that."

"No, it's fine. I am fine," I lie.

"I know your lying, but I understand." We sat in silence for a while. "How is Hardin? You haven't spoken to me since..." he pauses "Since Zed."

"I know I just can't even explain what is going on, because I don't even know what is happening, one moment he is in a coma next he is awake, happy and on a good run... then he is put under again. We seem to keep losing him." He looks at me with sad eyes. My coffee started to get cold I didn't want to drink it, The time spent with my best friend went from happy to sad.

"Let s go back." He gives me a fake smile; he stands up and gives me his hand. We sit in the car for a while it started to rain.

"I love the rain." My smile soon faded.

"It is still raining." I stare out the living room window, Hardin stands close to me when his mother disappears upstairs. He moves closer trying to hold my hand. "Hardin... listen to me." I turn and I am cut off by his lips on mine, I follow along kissing him back slowly his arms wrap around me. He pulls my body closer.

"Tessa, we are here." I blink a few times wiping my tears away. 

"How was  your coffee date?" Karen asks as we enter the room. My eyes are probably red from crying. 

"It was nice." my voice explains how it went. Hardin was hooked up to a feeding tube, this all just seemed so wrong. Landon and Karen stayed with us most of the night. 

Hardin pulled me in closer, I wanted this probably more then he did. He lifted me up wrapping me around his waste, The kissing becomes more intense he sits on the couch and flips me onto my back kissing my neck. I hear Trish run down the stairs I have never seen Hardin move so fast. 

"Kids, Go to bed and Hardin you on the couch Tessa upstairs." I laugh walking up the stairs.