So Many Things I Want To Say

Chapter 25

Tessa:

Taking my hand rubbing Hardin's chest feeling his heartbeat on my warm cheek, all I could think about was his hands touching me... I knew more than I thought, I giggled at myself. I... can't imagine what Hardin is feeling, I know he wanted to do so much more but I know we will work on it altogether. "I am never leaving your side again," I whisper holding him closer to me. We spent a long while in bed Hardin's mom should be home.

I move slowly away from Hardin to check my phone. Five missed calls three are from Kim and two are from Zed... why would he be calling me? I shove it off and roll back over and cuddle into Hardin I wasn't going to wake him until he was ready.

I thought about Zed it has been a while since we spoke since that night since Hardin came home.. Why would he want to talk to me after that?

Hardin:

The accident has been playing over and over in my head for the past few days, I don't understand why I see myself. What happened to me when I was in that coma? I am walking around the crash; people start surrounding me and the other driver. I see myself... "I look like I died at the scene."

"You did." I hear a voice behind me, when I turn to see who it was my jaw drops.

"Dad." I instinctively hug him. "Wait, why did I just..." My father touches my head, and my eyes open wide. "I remember."

"Remember what?" Tessa asks in a groggy voice, I just forgot for a second after looking at this gorgeous woman. I lay a light kiss on her lips. "Hardin are you okay?" she sits up and covers herself with the blanket.

"I remember everything. When I was in my coma, I saw my dad... I saw." I look down at Tessa. "You, I saw you. You were everything I was fighting for; you are the reason I am alive." She gives me a small smile. "I knew I had to get back to you. I wanted to be there for you, well you are here for me there is literally nothing I can do for you."

"Hardin." She lays her hand on my cheek. "You have given me everything. Just because you can't walk, just know you being here is everything to me." She moves in to kiss me.

"I was dead Tess." I move away, "I was supposed to stay dead... My dad literally gave me everything I needed to survive and that was you. But I wasn't supposed to live" She probably thinks I am crazy.

"If you were not meant to be here, then why are you here?" She gets up to get dressed. "I need coffee? Want any? We are not done I want some coffee to wake me up." She kisses me on the cheek and walks out. I lean my head back. What was I thinking? I grip my head in my hand's tears start to fall thinking of losing her again. I sneak in my side table and take a swig of the whiskey I had stashed away. Ever since that night with Zed and Tess, I have been slowly drinking...

I know it isn't good with my meds, but it's really minimal doses I should be fine.

Tessa:

"Hey, sweetie it's late why are you just coming down?" Hardin's mom hands me a cup of coffee. "Is Hardin okay?"

"I don't know. I mean I know he is having problems with depression because he can't move, and he believes he wasn't supposed to live." I dip my head down and the tears just force themselves out. "I don't want him to go again." I look at her she is already wrapping her arms around me.

"He isn't going anywhere." I know she is just saying that to make me feel better. I wait until my tears stop, I grab another cup for Hardin and walk upstairs. I open his door his eyes are closed he must be tired. "Hardin I just brought you your coffee." I set the mugs down on his nightstand. "Hardin? Are you awake?" I climb onto the bed and shake him.