So Many Things I Want To Say

Chapter 13

A few days later:

Hardin:

I still haven’t been able to speak; it has been killing me not being able to talk to Tessa. I look at her beautiful face as long as I can before it is taken away from me. I don’t understand… Maybe it’s because I am weak from my heart attack… I still can’t believe at 23 I had a heart attack. This is all fucked up. Tessa left to get coffee an hour ago. The waiting is killing me.

I hear Steph in the hall talking to someone I can’t make out what… The talking stops then Tessa walks into the room. She smiles at me, “I hope you like sugar because the girl didn’t listen to me when I said no sugar.” I open my arms to her. She walks over, “Still nothing yet?” I shake my head. She takes a sip of her coffee, I wish I wasn’t stuck here, I would have tried to fuck her already. She sits in the chair next to me, I shake my head and tap the bed for her to sit with me. As I try to indicate I want her to kiss me Molly walks into the room.

Tessa:

"Hardin!" She says with fake excitement. I can tell Hardin wants to sit up I feel him shift his body as much as he can. I try to help but he shoves me off.

"Molly," she glares at me when I speak her name. I try to hold Hardin's hand, but he slightly pulls away his hand. Huh? This doesn’t make sense; I look down at him he won’t look at me. His eyes are locked in on Molly.

"Hardin, baby." She moves in closer; I wish I knew what he was thinking.

Hardin:

Seeing her again after however long I was out for, makes me sick. The last time I saw her I was inside of her… I regret every second of it, she moves in closer I just don’t want to see her. I wish I could speak for myself. When Tessa tries to grab my hand, I pull away not realizing. This is all just crazy; I look up at Tessa, but her eyes are locked in on Molly. In this moment everything changed.

A last year:

Hardin:

“Hardin, come on let me in.” Molly stands on the outside of my dorm room door, every time she shows up, I just want to lose my lunch. I met Molly at this party that Steph dragged me too. It was at this frat house. They tried to get me to join their fraternity before. I had no interest and you see why. Steph dragged me into the building, people dancing on the tables and counters. People smoking, drinking and getting high, this is so not my scene. Steph brings me to the kitchen where a few of her friends stood.

“Hey, man.” Tristan says as he comes over and grips my hand. He has a few drinks in him I can smell it under his breath when he pulls me into a hug. He pulls away to grab his drink. “Have a drink man loosen up.” He takes a swig, his mouth fills with the liquor and smiles at Steph when he kisses her and slides the rest of his drink in her mouth. My body slumps slightly, I am a tough guy, but this is not my idea of fun.

“Nah, man I don’t drink.” I lean up against the counter I see this girl with bright pink hair at the tips of her black natural color. She has a hoop on the left side of her bottom lip. She takes a sip of her dink and moves closer to me.

“Whatever man your loss.” He gives me and smirk, he grips Steph’s waste and walks off. I began to feel extremely uncomfortable. The girl was slowly getting closer to me, she was an ugly pretty. She had beautiful facial features, but how she presented herself she makes herself ugly. The music was so loud I couldn’t even hear myself think. She stands next to me handing me her solo cup.