What Now

19. McDreamies and McSteamies

"So, this is your dorm room?" My mom asked as she stepped inside the small room. 

After I picked her up from the airport, we started heading towards Sean's apartment. My original plan got changed when she begged to start seeing the city. First place she wanted to go? My dorm room. I don't know how I was able to keep a straight face when she asked me that; or kept my eyes from going wide with fear. I forced a smile as my anxiety started to make my heart race. Then, I nodded. She seemed to pick up on my emotional state and offered to skip my dorm room. But then I thought about what Sean and my therapist have been telling me. It was time to get out of my comfort zone. 

So, here we were, stepping into the first place in a long time that was purely mine and extremely personal. Sure, I share this space with Ellie, but my half of the dorm room was definitely set up how I liked it. Since I never had anything like this before, I was very territorial about it.

"Yes," I said when I realized I didn't answer her question. "I share it with my roommate. I've mentioned her to you before, her name is Ellie."

She turned her head to Ellie's side of the room with a smile. "Ah, yes. The snarky, yet stubborn sculptor, right?"

I laughed. That was basically Ellie in a nutshell. "That would be her."

I stood quietly as I watched my mom, got that still sounded weird, and the different sculptures that lined Ellie's wall. Even though Ellie was an art major like me, she told me multiple times she didn't want to enter her art into any contest or art shows. I was hoping she would enter the same one I did, but unfortunately, I was on my own.

Maria, I can't call her Mom yet, stepped forward and traced her fingers lightly over one of the sculptures. She cocked her head to the side as she studied it closely. "She chose a great polymer for her work."

My eyebrows shot up. "You can tell that?"

Maria turned to look at me. "Of course. It's all in the feeling. Her work is smooth, intricate. I can tell that she makes these out of love. It's not just a hobby for her."

"You were a sculptor," I said quietly. It wasn't a question. Only someone who had years of experience and understood it could have described it that way.

A sad smile formed on Maria's face as she walked back towards my side of the room. Out of instinct, I took a couple steps back. She must have noticed because she stopped a few feet short of me with a frown. But I was glad that she didn't comment on it.

"I used to sculpt all the time. Ever since I was little. Originally, that's what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be an art major like you and Ellie."

Even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer to my next question, I asked it anyway. "Why didn't you follow through with it?"

Before she answered, she walked over to the wall beside my bed. Above my desk is where I hung most of my paintings. Her eyes seemed fixated on the one I painted not long after I moved into my dorm. It was of the George Washington Bridge and it was titled "Fate". As horrible as that night could have been, it changed my life for the better.

"My parents always tried to control every aspect of my life. They wanted to make sure I was an honor student, got into an Ivy League school, and became a doctor. Right before I graduated high school, that's when I met...Jonathon." I could hear the disdain and anger in her voice at the mention of my father. "I realized I thought I was in love with him because it was a way to rebel against my parents. Anyway, you know what happened after that. They forced me to get back on the academic track that they wanted, and I did. I became a well respected surgeon. I'm able to save lives everyday."