What Now

39| Closure

"What do you think we should do?" I asked Maria and Michael. 

Maria's voice was almost a whisper as she sat in her hospital bed. "Honestly, it's up to you guys. You need to make this decision." 

Michael got to his feet and started pacing. "This-- this is fucking crazy. How can we decide something like this? And when the hell is Sean coming back? What are they doing to him?" 

My brother wasn't handling any of this well. Honestly, neither was I. But I was trying to keep it together for myself, for Maria, and even for Michael. When Michael had stormed into Maria's hospital room and told me that they had taken Sean, I freaked out. Really bad. I sent a bunch of messages to Caffrey that could probably end up with me in jail. Or worse. But Lydia convinced me to settle down. 

Just as I was about to speak, the door to Lydia's hospital room opened; and in came Sean. "Sean!" I yelled as I ran into his arms. 

He clutched me to him like it had been a decade. Tears poured out of my eyes and I laughed with relief and excitement. He pulled away long enough to grab my face a kiss me like the world was ending. 

"I was so worried about you," I said to him through my tears. 

"I'm okay, baby," he said quietly as he wiped them away. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" 

I nodded and started out of the room. As I waited by the doorway I saw Sean whisper something in Michael's ear. 

Michael clapped him on the back. "Of course. Anything, brother." 

Sean came back over to me and led me into the hall. I saw Caffrey waiting at the other end. He was lucky he was on a phone call. I wanted to punch the fed. Sean lead me to the picnic area outside and sat me down on a bench. He took the seat next to me and let out a long breath. 

"I am so fucking glad that you're okay," he said with a smile. 

Even though I smiled at him, I knew that there was something he was keeping from me. "Sean, what happened with Caffrey? I know it's something big. You need to tell me. Michael said they arrested you." 

He placed his hand on my thigh and gave it a squeeze. "I was arrested. Caffrey took me to the FBI headquarters here in New York and kept me in an interrogation room." I opened my mouth to talk shit and Sean placed his fingers to my lips. "Lydia, just...listen to me, okay?" 

I nodded and he dropped his finger. "Caffrey sentenced me to three months of house arrest." 

"WHAT!" I screeched and got to my feet. "He can't-- My life was in danger!" 

Sean remained seated as he clasped my hands in his. "Lydia, that's why they went so easy on me." I shook my head and he stood in front of me. "Listen to me, Lydia. I could have been serving a minimum of five years in prison. That's five years that I would be apart from you, Michael, and Maria." Sean's voice hitched on a sob and my anger started to ease out of me. "I wouldn't have survived years without you, Lydia. This is a blessing. Three months of house arrest. I can still see you and be with you. Just in my apartment. We are so lucky." 

I knew he was right, and I threw myself into his arms again. So much has happened in the past few days. It made me think about things in a whole new perspective. "I'm so glad you're here," I said against his chest. 

He kissed me on the head and stroked my cheek. "Listen, Caffrey said something happened here; that's why we came so quickly. What's going on? Is it Maria?" 

I pulled away from him and wiped my eyes. This was going to be a hard to explain and I had a feeling I knew what Sean was going to say. "It's about my-- it's about Jonathon."