INT. THE DINGY APARTMENT - DAY
Cut to inside the dingy apartment with construction going on. The guys are shocked. The Hungarian landlord is with them.
MATT
What the fuck?
DAVID
You call this a palace?
LANDLORD
(with a thick accent) I said "place".
ALI
(pulls back his hand fast) Ew, I touched something sticky. (to Matt) A Lube'd user must be nearby.
DAVID
This is not the flat in the pictures.
MATT
You flat-fished us!
LANDLORD
Of course it is! Here is kitchen. It's marble countertop so please no coffee rings.
ALI
That is a hole. Not a kitchen.
LANDLORD
(gestures with hand) Yes, the whole kitchen. There is construction now for a beautiful winter garden. But it didn't finish on time. Don't worry, constructor will come every morning at 6 and finish before you leave.
MATT
What? 6? I won't even have gone to bed! I'm calling Airbnb, I'll ask for a total refund.
LANDLORD
Come on, don't be such an American.
DAVID
We have every right to cancel. A person can't live in this ruin!
LANDLORD
Now you're being "Le French"! "Let's go on strike!"
The Landlord makes himself laugh while the others are shocked.
LANDLORD
(joking to Ali) Sorry, I don't know what the Turkish do. But don't be a Muslim and blow this out of proportion.
MATT
(gasps) Let's get out of here!
YOU ARE READING
Take Me to Euroheaven
HumorAli travels to the host city to watch Eurovision live but the plots running backstage will test his friendships and a brand new fairytale romance. Listen to the soundtrack: tiny. cc/TMTE
