Take Me to Euroheaven

SCENE 17

INT. LÁSZLÓ PAPP ARENA - DAY

TITLE OVER: Monday. 5 days until the final.

Mini and Ali are watching the first semi-final rehearsal.

MINI

You kissed in the middle of the park and you're telling me that it has to be top secret?

ALI

It was impulsive. No one was around.

MINI

How are you not on clouds? This is actually the most romantic thing I've experienced. That Ali story!

ALI

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. You know these stuff always go sideways with me.

MINI

It took 5 years and a date with a Greek popstar but you can finally move on from that "I'm unlucky in love" bullshit.

ALI

David will tease me to death about this.

MINI

Who cares! Where's his husband by the way?

ALI

I don't know. He was supposed to arrive yesterday.

MARGARITA (35) walks on the stage with some applause.

ALI

It's Ukraine, we should watch this!

BARRY

Let's go Ms. Margarita. I bet we'll all need one to suffer through this.

MARGARITA

(with a Ukrainian accent) Barry, do you know the difference between you and Simon Cowell?

BARRY

I'm Irish?

MARGARITA

Your man tits are bigger.

People laugh. Margarita's song starts playing. The first verse proceeds well.

But by the second verse all the subsequent stunts start going horribly wrong: She falls down, gets hit in the face, her breast pops out, she slips, uses a prop that fails to work and she gets the moves wrong. All through it, she powers through, smiling as if nothing is wrong. In the end, a fire prop lights up her huge wig; she enters the end pose with her head on fire. A few awkward claps are heard.

MARGARITA

(out of breath, sniffs the smoke) Is it lunch time already? I think they're burning the food.

BARRY

You're on fire.

MARGARITA

Finally some nice words, Barry!

BARRY

You're literally on fire!

Margarita realizes the fire and screams. People run and put it out immediately. After the fire is extinguished, Margarita returns to no-crisis mode.

MARGARITA

It's still a bit rusty. But we'll get it right on time.

BARRY

Woman, you would have died there if you were Western European!

MINI

Hey Margarita!

MARGARITA

Yes, Mini?

MINI

The semi-final is tomorrow. It's safe to say that the chances this will come together are very low.

MARGARITA

OK, OK, I hear you.

MINI

What if you did all these things that went wrong on purpose? You know, fail deliberately, have fun with it. Then it would be fun to watch and it would actually go better with the lyrics.

MARGARITA

That's a very good idea!

MINI

...other than your boob falling out.

MARGARITA

(adjusting her clothes) Oh! Get back in there!