Take Me to Euroheaven

SCENE 9

INT. THE MINI HOUSE - DAY

Bloggers bar Vlad and Mini are sitting around with Ali. Jolanda and Heidi are talking to each other.

JOLANDA

I said I would never talk to him again but I wrote him back.

HEIDI

(shakes head) You're like the Swedish victory in 2012.

Jolanda looks confused.

HEIDI

So obvious!

THOMAS

(to Ali) So in this year's contest, when a song ends, they'll show a special photo of the artist, taken with the following artist. It's a connecting moment - they call it an "ovaticon".

ALI

That sounds cool! You must be thrilled the UK is a favorite this year.

THOMAS

With Valerie Ash representing! She is such an icon! Is she your favorite, too?

ALI

You wouldn't want me to support her. None of my faves win, I'm like a Eurovision jinx.

THOMAS

Don't call yourself that!

ALI

But my friend David adores her! You two would get along. Actually, can we all take a picture together, I want to send one to him.

THOMAS

Sure thing!

Everybody except Christian gets up to get into the frame.

JOLANDA

Christian, get in the picture!

Christian gets up unwillingly. Ali takes a selfie.

ALI

Brilliant!

SILVA

I don't think Greece will win with a ballad. Loukas is great but power ballads never win.

JAKE

(with a Swedish accent) He seems like a top to me. Oh, I thought you said power "bottoms" never win.

TUVAL

Well, we know they do.

JAKE

I want Poland to win but Nadia can't sing the song live.

HEIDI

She is smoking hot though! I want to kiss her.

Ali sends the picture to a Whatsapp group with David and Matt, called "Sertab's Bitches".

TUVAL

Don't hold back because of the new guy. Yesterday you said you would fingerbang her till she passed out.

Matt texts "WHO'S THAT GUY IN THE BACK???"

EDUARDO

None of them will win. Sweden will win again.

Everybody disagrees. Ali texts back "The Danish blogger". Mini comes downstairs.

MINI

There's a guy upstairs wandering around aimlessly. Whoever brought him home, please go and help.

Tuval, Jake and Silva get up to go upstairs, then they stop when they see each other and look at Mini.

MINI

He has short brown hair, glasses, a delicate face...

Jake and Silva sit back down. Heidi gets up.

HEIDI

That sounds like Jenny.

Tuval and Heidi go upstairs. Mini walks to Ali.

MINI

We're having a party here tonight. Matt and David should come.

ALI

I think we'll go around the city.

MINI

No, invite them. Show them the huge house, make them jealous.

ALI

That is what real friends do.

Heidi leans down from the stairs speaking to the group.

HEIDI

It actually is a guy and he says he was locked in a closet and forgotten there.

A worried Christian suddenly gets up and runs upstairs.

MINI

Let me meet some normal people.

ALI

OK, I'll invite them.

MINI

And the party won't be crazy like you think. It's just a nice, quiet get-together with friends.