Take Me to Euroheaven

SCENE 11

INT. THE MINI HOUSE - NIGHT

Ali is drunk, doing another shot. Several other drunk people are doing their traditional folk dances in the background. Jake gets on the stage in the cat costume.

JAKE

OK people it's lip sync time! Please welcome to the stage everybody's favorite Russian grandmothers: Buranovskiye Babushki!

Tuval, Eduardo, Silva and Heidi get on the stage dressed as Russian grandmothers. People cheer. A drunk Christian goes around, throwing glitter and bothering people.

JAKE

I'm sorry but none of you look 60.

TUVAL

(does a shot) I will tomorrow morning. Let's go!

People cheer again. Jolanda at the DJ booth, pushes a button and "La La Love" starts to play instead of "Party for Everybody". People seem confused.

JAKE

It's not the right song, Jolanda!

Just then Christian's glitter gets in Jolanda's eyes. She waves her hands in pain.

JOLANDA

Glitter got in my eye! (in Slovenian) Fucking asshole!

JAKE

(to the bloggers on stage) Do this one, I know you know it.

After a brief hesitation, Tuval, Eduardo, Silva and Heidi break into the sexy choreography for La La Love. The crowd goes crazy as they get sultrier. They whip their headscarves, shake their padded butts and bounce their saggy breasts. Heidi carries a cocktail tray instead of baked bread. Silva, doing the sharp arm movements, hits the tray and smashes the drinks into Heidi's face. Heidi tries to keep her adorable granny mannerisms as drinks run down her face.

A guy in Ivi Adamou costume comes to Ali.

IVI GUY

This was my song!

He stomps off as the song ends and people clap. Eduardo comes to Ali drunkenly.

EDUARDO

(with a Spanish accent) Did you enjoy the show?

ALI

Yeah, you are the sexiest grandmothers I've seen.

EDUARDO

(In Spanish) Is that so?

Eduardo leans in to kiss him. Ali shyly pulls back, smiling.

ALI

...sorry.

EDUARDO

(smiles) That's OK.

ALI

You're very hot but--

EDUARDO

I've heard of your zero score in 3 years.