𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑻𝑬𝑹 | PJM. JJK✔

failure

Jungkook was at school.

He was helping his classmate Hoseok sketch out his idea for the end project assigment, desperate for something to distract him. But it wasn't working at all.

"You really haven't started yet?"

"No," Jungkook mumbled, starting to sketch one of the shots Hoseok wanted to incorporate into his short-film.

"But it's due in like less than a month-"

"I know that Hobi," Jungkook said, sternly cutting Hoseok off though he remained calm.

Jungkook gripped hard at his pencil until his fingers turned white.

It had been a week since Jungkook had last seen Jimin. But that had only been because he'd creepily stared through the cafewindow when he noticed Jiminie serving customers coffee.

It was a wonder Jin hadn't lost his job over what happened and Jimin was still alowed to work at the place, but a wonder Jungkook thanked god for.

The last time he'd spoken to Jimin and Jin was more than a month ago. The day when everything completely went to shit. It was all engraved into Jungkook's skull.

The way Jin looked around at the customers as Jimin went through an episode, so afraid, so ashamed. He had to tell everyone to leave. So Jungkook did.

He didn't know why he moved with the crowd but he did. It was what he hated about himself. The way he always just disappeared when he thought he wasn't needed. But what could he have done? What could he have changed? What happened happened, he couldn't turn back time. Jungkook wanted to do so much. But maybe he wanted too much. He wanted to give Jimin world. He wanted to make him smile every single day until his cute baby cheeks hurt from laughter.

But smiling every day was already hard enough for people without issues.

So that was just a nice dream. Wasn't it?

"Do you need me to help you with an idea or something?"

Jungkook shook his head, feeling the pencil bend underneath his thumb though he didn't stop pressing against it.

"But Jungkook, if you don't hand in this assignment you're gonna fail this class," Hoseok said as if Jungkook didn't already know that.

"What's up with you lately?" Hoseok asked, not missing the way Jungkook was slowly breaking the pencil. "You used to love this class... you'd tell everyone about it... you jumped like a happy bunny when we heard about this project."

Jungkook's pencil gave up and snapped in half, the sound shooting through the empty lecture hall and bringing Jungkook right back to Jin's cafe.

"Jungkook..." Hoseok said softly, placing his hand on Jungkook's back to bring the young man down.

"Some shit happened a while ago," Jungkook said, sniffing as he clenched the broken pencil in his hands. "And it's all my fault because I can't do shit right... because I'm a fucking failure..."

Hoseok stared at Jungkook with a completely confused expression, probably wondering how he could've missed that his friend had been this upset all this time.

"Jeon Jungkook you are anything but a failure," Hoseok stated strongly as if it were a proven fact.

The student had probably used Jungkook's full name as a joke. To act like what he said was an official statement. But all it did was make Jungkook remember Min. And it only added to the pain of guilt.

Jungkook wanted to cry every second of the day at how much he missed Jimin. He wanted to scream at the world how fucking unfair it all was and order it to do something. But the world couldn't care less about small problems like his.