"I just don't want to hurt you doll."
"Buck you won't," I lightly smiled at him, "I trust you." He looked down as if in shame, "What's wrong?"
"I don't even trust myself." He sighed.
"Bucky," I began, "You work hard every day to try and regain your memory. And you're doing so well so far. If you're not ready for a relationship then I'll wait."
"But I don't want to have to make you wait. That wouldn't be a very gentleman thing of me."
"Buck this isn't the 1940s," I told him and he looked up, "This is your decision as much as it is mine. If you want to wait before we jump on the whole boyfriend-girlfriend train we can do that. For as long as you need."
"You sure?"
"Positive." I smiled and he kissed my cheek.
Honestly, I wasn't so sure. I had the largest crush on Bucky since he first came to us non-brainwashed a few years back. He asked me out on a date about two months ago and of course, I said yes.
He had never really been in a real relationship, not even in the 40s. He was more of a bachelor if you will. Jumping from woman to woman whenever he desired to do so. But now, although he was still James Buchanan Barnes, he was a more timid version. Which is to be expected after all he's been through.
That night I laid awake in my bed pondering everything. All I wanted was for Bucky to be here. Even after two months, there was something so special about him. He was so kind and gentle but also has a humerus and kind of idiotic side. I drifted off to sleep soon after out of pure tiredness.
"Y/N? Y/N? Wake up doll." I heard Bucky above me say frantically. I heard my own panting and could feel my chest heaving up and down as sweat trickled down my body. "It's just me doll. You had a nightmare." He said as I sat up and looked at him, my body regaining its normal condition.
"Thanks, Bucky," I mumbled out and took a sip of some water he brought me. "I'm really sorry if I woke you up."
"It's fine doll," he lightly smiled, "These happen to me sometimes too." I nodded before a few moments of silence.
"Was I screaming?" He nodded. "Oh," I said, "Sorry."
"Doll you don't need to apologize, don't worry." I light smiled, "Do you want to talk about it? If you don't that's totally fine it's just sometimes talking about mine helps me through it." I wasn't sure. But I needed to think fast. Bucky was probably right.
"Sure," I nodded as he got into bed next to me, throwing the blanket over him. "It was another mission," I began and he nodded listening along, "It was you, Sam, Steve, Nat and I. I don't know where it was but there was all this fighting, all of a sudden I heard someone scream. It sounded like you so I ran over to try and find someone." I stopped for a minute as he looked at me, "And then I saw y-you on the ground with at least a dozen bullet holes in you." My face went sour as I began crying, "Buck I know we're new to our relationship but I don't want to lose you." I looked up at him.
"I know doll," He said. I put my head in his lap as he began playing with strands of my hair. "But I'm right here alright? Nothing will happen to me, and I'll make sure of that for you." I lightly smiled.
"Buck?" I asked.
"Hm?"
"Am I moving this too fast? I feel like I'm pressuring you to do this and I don't want to do that and-"
"Baby doll you're not." He smiled and stroked my cheek, "I was just scared, still am a little, that I may hurt you. But you have no idea how bad I want you.""I want you too," I said and we both smiled. Slowly we leaned in and he kissed me. A passionate, incredible, electrifying yet sweet and humble kiss. That lasted for quite a while. "I didn't think my first kiss with you was going to be at 2:30 am." I chuckled and he did too.
"Neither did I, but it was still worth it."
"Agreed." We both smiled like fools.
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Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan Characters One-Shots and Imagines
FanfictionThe title says it all my people.