Secret Romantics

ME! + YOU!

Continued...

As I walk down I take a big gulp attempting to act casual. He's still on the couch with his head resting back. I try to avoid looking at him. Maybe I should make food, err... nevermind.

Okay I'll just sit on the other side of the couch and read my book or something. It's hard trying to read when there is so much pressure and tension in my heart. I flip through the pages pretending to read as I try to figure out how to talk to him or how to even begin.

Grayson POV
I see Jayden sit on the couch which I attempt to ignore. Looking back at it, he didn't deserve all the anger I let out on him. This is what I've been afraid of, my anger issues to get out of my control and hurt a friend or a family member of mine. It's like a devil inside of me and I hate it. I tried going to therapy and even went far enough to take medication but nothing works. "Did you clean up the mess I told you to clean?" I say trying to make things less awkward. "Yeah..." he pauses. "I'm sorry for what I did Grayson, but I don't feel like it was necessary for you to scream at me. I'm sorry."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU-

"Grayson... please stop... you're scaring me!" I see Jayden start crying.

And just like that, I came crashing down. I looked at him in shock as I realized what I've done. Without even thinking I give Jayden the biggest hug as I ball my eyes out. I feel tears running down my face. My heart feels like it's about to fall off. I hate myself so much. I never want to let go of Jayden. I start crying even more. I fuckin hate myself. I hate myself for hurting Jayden and hurting our friendship.

I feel Jayden's tears leak through my shoulder as mines leak through his. I'm so sorry Jayden... I'm too weak to say anything. All my emotions I've been holding back have finally let go. My arms wrapped around his arms like if my life depends on it. Hugging him harder is the only sign I could give him that I'm sorry. I WANT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF.

"Jayden I'm- sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Jayden" suddenly, that's the only thing I could say. I'm sorry. I fight my hardest to talk while tears come out non stop. Hearing him cry makes me even weaker. I saved him from his abusive parents trying to be the hero and trying to make him feel better but it turns out I'm making it worse.

"I understand if you never want to talk to me ever again. I understand if you decided to leave and never talk to me again. I just want to tell you how fuckin sorry I am and how horrible I feel for making you afraid of me. I hate myself so much and if I were you, I would never want to see myself either..."

Jayden POV
My face is still buried deep in Graysons chest as tears stream down. "I forgive you Grayson. It's okay I don't hate you." I've never seen Grayson cry like this, usually he'll just suck it up and move on. Making him cry this much makes me cry even more. He may seem like a big bad wolf on the outside, but deep down he's just an adorable sensitive little fluff ball of joy. It's shocking seeing him crying like this, or ever.
"Really...? After all I've done to you?" He says finally whipping some of his tears as he now looks at me. "Yes really. Seeing you cry like this is all the evidence to know that you're sorry."

"Grayson?"

next chapter...