Oneirataxia: My Fictional Man

CHAPTER 22

Chapter Twenty-two

"Is that really what you want?" Benjamin asked as he tilted his head, fervently eyeing me.

We're here in his office. I'm helplessly sitting on his visitor's chair while he's standing tall in front of me. After he saw my tears bursting, he immediately dragged me here. He didn't want any other explosion of rumor, for sure.

He sat on the swivel chair and dragged himself nearer toward me. His legs are widely spread, making mine placed in between. He positioned his hand on the back rail of my seat and slightly slouched his back to level my eyes.

Our close position now is making me quiver. Who wouldn't be? We're just inches from each other and it can't be helped that his soulful eyes are piercing through me.

"You badly want me to avoid you?"

Napawaang ang bibig ko sa muling pagtanong niya. Why does he have to repeat it over again? Does he want me to slap to his face what I really want?

"No..."

Honestly, it's too selfish to admit that I want to avoid him for my own good yet I don't want it when he is avoiding me.

"... I mean yes, keep yourself away from me. That's w-what I want," sabi ko sa mababang boses.

His thick brows only rose up as he dragged my chair closer to him. Napayuko ako sa sobrang lapit ng distansiya namin. I could feel that my heart will twitch at any moment from now. This close contact is just too much to contain.

"Head's up." His voice is stern and full of power that I couldn't resist but to arise my head high, giving in to his command.

I forced myself to stare at him with the same intensity as his but my eyes only soften seconds after. I lowered my gaze a bit making me gulped hard as I saw his lips; sinful and tempting. I bit mine, realizing this growing and unfamiliar feeling. Damn this, am I aroused with our closeness right now?

Ibinalik ko na ulit ang tingin sa kanyang mga mata. I don't want him to notice what I'm going through because of our close distance.

I felt that he got more pissed with my kittenish action, I even saw him clenching his fist like he's suppressing something.

"Say it again while looking directly into my eyes," muling utos niya.

This is harder than the confrontations, defenses, and interviews that I have done in my whole life!

"Consider me like no one. Just pretend we didn't know each other at all. That's what I want you to do." My lips are trembling as I threw those words off.

There's a ghost of smirk plastered on his face after what I said. I just looked away and tried to push him with my might but he only jailed my hands off with his single palm. His hand felt warm as it tightly held mine.

"But that's not what I saw in your eyes. Salungat ang nababasa ko sa mga sinasabi mo," he blurted out.

"What is it then?" tanong ko, medyo kinakabahan sa kung anong sasabihin niya,

"Hmm. This..." I assume he would say much but I was wrong.

Everything ran in a snap. Nagliliyab ang kanyang mga matang nakatingin sa akin, tinutunaw ang natitira kong depensa. I felt his other hand at the back of my head and then it swiftly pulled me closer to him. It's too late to stop him now.

A sudden blossom of aesthetic delight shivered to every fiber of my being when I felt his soft lips touch mine. I uncontrollably closed my eyes as I felt him deepened it. This triggered mixed emotions within me. And what scares me is when I didn't feel any danger at all, when I know that kissing with him is a very dangerous act.