Oneirataxia: My Fictional Man

CHAPTER 30

Chapter Thirty

There are some tourists who seemed to notice Callie. No question for it, she's a famous model after all and it must be a miracle for them to see a renowned public figure in a place like this.

I sighed in dismay when they started to take a picture with Callie, and worse, they include Benjamin in the frame. They probably thought that they were a thing.

This is the problem for drowning myself with so much happiness because whenever I get too happy and elated, there would always an exchange for it afterward; despair and heartache.

It's life. Everything is fleeting and we have no choice but to go along with it.

I don't want to spoil their precious moment. I might as well go back to my suite. Magpapa-order na lang ako at doon na kakain sa loob. I don't belong here anyway, lalo na't nandito si Callie, ang bida.

Tumalikod na ako kahit mabigat sa aking loob at sa mabibilis na hakbang ay tinungo ko ang pintuan ng restaurant. Pipihitin ko na sana ang kulay pilak na door handle nang maunahan ako ng kung sino.

Hindi ko na kailangang lingunin pa dahil sa amoy pa lang ay alam ko nang si Benjamin. Hindi ko siya pinansin at dere-deretso lang akong lumakad palabas. He kept calling me but I just ignored him as if he was a ghost I couldn't see nor hear.

Malapit na ako sa palikong daan patungo sa aking suite nang sapilitan na niya akong iniharap sa kanya. Mukhang naubos na ata ang pasensya niya sa katatawag sa akin. Magkasalubong pa ang kanyang mga kilay na tumingin sa akin.

"Bakit hindi ka lumapit doon?" maanghang niyang tanong.

Nag-iwas lang ako ng tingin at maang na nagkibit-balikat.

"Answer me, Diane. Don't fucking confuse me with your odd silence," wika niyang may inis sa tono.

Inis ko rin siyang nilingon at pagkatapos ay inirapan.

"At bakit naman ako pupunta doon?" pabalik kong tanong.

He exhaled in so much disbelief. Hinawakan niya ang dalawa kong balikat at direktang tiningnan ako sa mata.

"What? I don't understand. Why wouldn't you? It's our table and we're supposed to eat there," tila hindi makapaniwalang turan niya sa akin.

Muli ko siyang inirapan. Is he dumb not to realize the problem?

"Callie is there and it looks like she's really the one you're with. Who am I to intervene?" Mukhang titirik na ata ang aking mata sa ilang beses kong pag-irap sa kanya.

"I can't fucking believe you asked that stupid question. Really? It's you whom I want to eat with and you have all the right to intervene, Diane!"

I got startled with his sudden rise of voice. Mukhang napansin niya yun dahil mabilis niya akong niyakap at humingi ng patawad sa mababang boses.

How can I get mad with this man if he's like this? Oh, God.

"I thought I already cleared you with the fact that I don't like her. This is the third time that you do this. Damn it, why are you so insecure with her when she couldn't even match you?" Sa kanyang huling pangungusap ay pilit akong kumawala sa kanyang yakap at hindi makapaniwalang tinitigan siya.

"Are you freaking serious?" I asked with so much distrust.

"You don't believe me, do you?" he asked back with an offensive tone.

I felt guilty. He looked like very much offended. But he couldn't blame me! What he said was undeniably unbelievable.

"Benjamin, she has all everything I don't have!" I blurted with so much bitterness.