Oneirataxia: My Fictional Man

CHAPTER 25

Chapter Twenty-five

I was stuck in both states of bliss and mystification. I'm not as dumb as hell not to extract what Benjamin meant to say, and that made my heart blossoms. However, hearing his statements brought confusion in me. If he really meant what he had said, I would surely be doomed in the end.

I'm torn between my naive emotions and goal. I know I should focus on the latter because it's the root why I'm here, but at this very moment, I'm afraid my heart will choose the dead-end for me.

I stopped the car when I reached the condominium building where I'm staying. When I got out, I nervously glanced at the car behind Lanie's. Its door opened, sticking out its owner, Benjamin. With trembling hands, I immediately gave the car keys to the valet and let him maneuver the car to the parking ground.

Benjamin is now walking near me. His both hands are on his pants pocket which made him look cool to me. And as usual, his eyes glued into mine, tila walang balak na magbitaw ng tingin kaya ako na lang ang umiwas at pinagtuonan ng pansin ang chain strap ng aking bag.

Talagang sinundan niya ako hanggang pauwi. While we're on a convoy earlier, my hands were a bit shaking while driving. I just couldn't contain the feeling after he dropped off such bombs. Even until now, I still feel like floating on clouds when scenarios from earlier visited my mind.

"Let's go home. It's too late already," he huskily said.

Binuksan niya ang pintuan ng sasakyan at marahan akong itinulak papasok. Nang makaupo na ako nang maayos ay yumuko naman siya upang magpantay ang aming tingin. Ang kanyang kaliwang kamay ay nakadantay sa pintuan ng sasakyan at ang kabilang kamay naman ay hinagod ang dulo ng aking buhok.

"Don't do this kind of hair again when you go out," mariing sabi niya.

Lalong lumalim ang tingin niya sa akin. Kung may balak siyang lunurin ako sa kanyang mata ay tiyak na magtatagumpay siya.

"This is a suitable hairdo for that event," depensa ko naman. Wala naman siguro siyang kaalam-alam sa mga hair styles lalo pa't lalaki siya.

"Then don't ever go on any events like that. Aren't you aware how seductive you are with that hair, woman? Damn, it looks like a fuckin' after-sex hair." My heart pounded abnormally by his frank remarks.

Does he really have to say that right into my face? Nakaramdam tuloy ako ng matinding hiya at pagka-ilang sa sinabi niya. Buti na lang ay nakabukas ang glove compartment ng sasakyan at may nakita akong malaking hair clamp. Mabilis ko itong kinuha at kahit medyo matigas ang aking buhok dahil sa hair spray ay pinilit ko pa rin itong itinaas para masalansan.

In the middle of clamping my hair, Benjamin held my wrist to stop me from doing it. His expression seemed defeated over something.

"Why? I'm tying my hair," I said, stating what's obvious.

"You are indeed driving me crazy. Don't do that in front of me. It's testing my patience, don't you know that?"

Nalilito naman akong umiling sa kanya. Paano ko naman sinusubok ang pasensya niya sa simpleng pagtatali lang ng buhok ko?

"I don't understand you---" Napatigil naman ako nang medyo maunawaan na ang kanyang sinabi.

Is he trying to say that I still look seductive with just a mere tying of hair? Well, precisely! I have also read this kind of reaction from men in erotic books. They find it sexy and hot when a woman is in a bun. Oh God.