Love like no other

Two to Four

Gagas P.O.V

I'm still in a state of shock. My two very close friends are...gone. My body feels so numb and fragile. I have to be strong for my boys. I can get through it.

As we arrived in London, my heart sunk. London has always been a happy place for me and now, it's just, sad. My deepest fear has always been of loosing someone I love. I never thought this would happen so soon.

As we were driving through the traffic, taylor grabbed my hand and kissed it. He said "everything will be ok. We will go sign the custody papers and get the boys. Do not worry babe. We will get through it." He softly kissed my lips and held my hand tight.

When we arrived at the court house, Zachary and Elijah were standing in the lobby. They both seen me and taylor and ran toward us, screaming "Gaga mother!". i squatted to there size and kissed them both. Taylor picked Elijah up while I held Zachary's hand and walked to the desk to sign the papers.

We were about to leave and I got the boys jackets on them. As I was buttoning Zachary's coat, he looked to the ground and said "my daddys are in heaven right?". Tears started to well up in my eyes as I said "yes baby, they are. But, you have two new parents that love you, both of you, very much ok". Zachary smiled and said "yeah, I know. Can I ask you something?". I smiled and said "yes, baby, anything.". "Can I call you mommy? I never had a mommy." I grabbed his head and kissed his forehead. "Yes honey, you can.".

Taylor's P.O.V

Stef and I were devastated that Elton and David were no longer with us. It's hard to ignore it with the news and press putting everything on TV or in the paper.

The boys do not understand why their fathers aren't here anymore but they know that they are in heaven. I think it's great that Elton and David chose Stef to be their Godmother. We will try our hardest to be a mother and father to them just like our own children 

The ride from the courthouse to our hotel room was definitely peaceful. The boys sat in their car seats and they both fell asleep while Stef leaned against the window and silently sobbed.

When we arrived at the hotel, I got the boys things out of the car and Stef held both of their hands as we entered the hotel. When we got to our sweet, Elijah came up to me and said "daddy, can I have something to eat." I was going to say something but I decided that I wouldn't ruin it for him. "Yeah buddy, do you want some candy?".

Elijah smiled and said "yes please!". I gave him some candy as he sat on the couch and watched some cartoons and Zachary colored in the coloring book at the coffee table. I smiled at the sight and went to the bathroom to freshen up.

Gagas P.O.V

I called the room service for dinner and went into the room where Elijah and Zachary were and sat down next to Elijah. Zachary seen me on the couch with Elijah and got up with his coloring book in one hand and his crayons in the other and sat on the couch next to me.

I put my arms around them and looked at the coloring book that Zachary was coloring in. "What's that baby?" I asked as I pointed at the book. He looked at me and said "it's spiderman! I love him so much. Not as much as you though mommy." He sat up on his knees and kissed my cheek as he played with my hair. My heart sunk because I have always had a close bond with them as my god children but not as a mother. The most difficult part Is going to be going to Elton and David's funeral. With all the sadness, I hope the boys know that they are still loved.

I kissed him back and said "I love you so so much! You have always been my boy and always will be. Wait until you get to go home with us, you will be able to play with Joey and have a little sister, her name is MacKenzie!" Zachary's smile grew bigger than before and he said "I haven't had a little sister. I can't wait!". I smiled and kissed him one more time before getting up to answer the door.

As the snappy man in a vest arrived with our food and left, I crepe into the bathroom where taylor was taking a shower. I slightly hollered and said "dinner is here babe, come and eat when you are finished". Taylor turned the water off and stepped out. I admired his muscular body but knew that I couldn't do anything for three reasons. The emptiness I felt from the loss of my two very best friends, the boys were in the other room, and I just had a baby a few weeks ago. I wasn't ready physically or emotionally for sex yet, but believe me, I wanted him more than anything.

"Alright, let me get dressed, I will be out in a minute." I walked out of the bathroom and got all the plates out and sat them on the table. "Boys, come and eat". Both of them got up and came to the table. I noticed Elijah had candy in his hand. I said "Elijah, give me that. Who gave you candy?". Elijah smiled and said "daddy". I tilted my head and said "taylor gave you candy?". Elijah smiled and said "yep!". I felt bad after he said that because I didn't know he started calling taylor daddy. If he is comfortable with it, it's okay.

Taylor came out and we all sat down to eat. We said our prayers and began to eat. Zachary said "do you think the kids in America will like me?". I put my hand on Zachary's and said "of course they will. You will make all kinds of new friends." Zach forced a smile and said "I wish I could travel with you mommy. I don't want to go to public school." I put my fork in my plate and said "Zachary, baby, it will be just fine. Remember I love you. Now, let's eat and we will talk about it in the morning." Zachary nodded and finished eating his dinner. Finally, we were all done so it was time for a bath and bed.

After putting the boys in the bath and getting them tucked into bed, I walked into the living room part of the hotel room and sat down next to taylor on the couch. I began to speak and said "remember what Zachary said at dinner about school?". "Yeah? What about it?". I bit my lip and said "I think we should put all of our kids in home schooling. They can go on the road with me and we can hire a teacher and nanny to come with me. Unless you want to keep them?". "I don't know, I kind of wanted them to go to public school. They can make new friends and they will be staying with me in Chicago. I would love to keep them with me, they keep me company while I'm missing you."

I smiled and kissed him. I said "then it's settled. They will stay with you like before. I miss you and the kids every time I leave. I miss our late night talks and our little movie nights and-". Taylor cut me off by saying "our late night "parties"?". I smiled and said "well, yeah.". Taylor came toward me and said "I can fix that". He started to kiss my neck and rub his fingers along my thighs and up my dress. I wanted him so bad but I couldn't do it.

I said "I can't, I just, I just can't. I'm sorry honey. Just give me time." Taylor sighed and said "ok, don't worry, it's ok, we we will just wait." and he patted my leg and forced a smile. He got up and went to bed. I felt so bad. I don't want him thinking it's his fault or anything because it's not. I'm just not in the right state of mind right now. Everything is happening to fast. Within two days, I went from being a mother of two to a mother of four. I got up from the couch and went into the bedroom. I fell asleep, alone. Taylor didn't even kiss me goodnight or put his arm around me. I don't know. I started crying and fell asleep.